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From trying to help a child to harasser...
I recently posted "restraining his 5yr old daughter" as I witnessed a child in distress from her father restraining her for 15 minutes bc wanted her attention, as she cried and screamed, and was heaving from being so upset after the incident, and so on (see post). The situation was very disturbing and I ended up leaving as I couldn't imagine being close to someone that treated a child the way he did.
I posted it here bc I wanted some objective feedback and to take my time to decide how to handle the situation vs reacting impulsively. I was trying to make an objective decision.
After a lot of communication, I decided the best thing to do was to contact the mom and let her know what I witnessed, which she really seemed to appreciate, and seemed very friendly, telling me she would not say anything to him about me communicating it to her (I told her I was putting my trust in her as my daughter and I could be affected by it, given things he said), and said she liked me and to keep in touch (which I really had no desire to do - didn't see it necessary). She also had a few negative things to say about him...twisting his son's arm in the past, her daughter not wanting to visit him, and her coming home smelling like pot, etc. Anyhow, I just wanted her to know about this incident and that was it - thinking I was doing the right thing.
I recently got a text from the father (who I'm no longer with) to tell me that he knew I called the mother almost since it happened (a couple of weeks ago). I wasn't sure if he just put it together bc I left after the incident with his daughter or whether the mom told him I called. So I called and left a message for her Sunday morning asking her to call me (assuming it was okay, given her demeanor with me the last time). I just wanted to confirm if that's how he found out, for my own and daughter's protection, and wouldn't have contacted her anymore.
Not only did the mother not call me back, but today I got a text from this guy telling me that the mom wants me to stop calling her and harassing her...in addition to some threats of his own toward me. So this has gone from me trying to help a child and making the mom aware of what I witnessed, to me being portrayed as some crazy stalker/harasser. Unbelievable. I guess this is why people turn the other cheek in some situations.
I have put my reputation in the town at risk, as well as mine and my daughter's well being from this ordeal and whatever I recently posted "restraining his 5yr old daughter" as I witnessed a child in distress from her father restraining her for 15 minutes bc wanted her attention, as she cried and screamed, and was heaving from being so upset after the incident, and so on (see post). The situation was very disturbing and I ended up leaving as I couldn't imagine being close to someone that treated a child the way he did.
I posted it here bc I wanted some objective feedback and to take my time to decide how to handle the situation vs reacting impulsively. I was trying to make an objective decision.
After a lot of communication, I decided the best thing to do was to contact the mom and let her know what I witnessed, which she really seemed to appreciate, and seemed very friendly, telling me she would not say anything to him about me communicating it to her (I told her I was putting my trust in her as my daughter and I could be affected by it, given things he said), and said she liked me and to keep in touch (which I really had no desire to do - didn't see it necessary). She also had a few negative things to say about him...twisting his son's arm in the past, her daughter not wanting to visit him, and her coming home smelling like pot, etc. Anyhow, I just wanted her to know about this incident and that was it - thinking I was doing the right thing.
I recently got a text from the father (who I'm no longer with) to tell me that he knew I called the mother almost since it happened (a couple of weeks ago). I wasn't sure if he just put it together bc I left after the incident with his daughter or whether the mom told him I called. So I called and left a message for her Sunday morning asking her to call me (assuming it was okay, given her demeanor with me the last time). I just wanted to confirm if that's how he found out, for my own and daughter's protection, and wouldn't have contacted her anymore.
Not only did the mother not call me back, but today I got a text from this guy telling me that the mom wants me to stop calling her and harassing her...in addition to some threats of his own toward me. So this has gone from me trying to help a child and making the mom aware of what I witnessed, to me being portrayed as some crazy stalker/harasser. Unbelievable. I guess this is why people turn the other cheek in some situations.
I have put my reputation in the town at risk, as well as mine and my daughter's well being from this ordeal and whatever repurcusions may come from it (i.e. his threats). Trying to do the right thing has turned into them baning together with me being some kind of psycho. I can't believe it. may come from it (i.e. his threats). Trying to do the right thing has turned into them banning together with me being some kind of psycho. I can't believe it.
After calling him a narcassist to me, taking him to court for 4 years regarding custody, and trying to prevent him from knowing of her daughter's birth in the first place...I'm the bad guy here.
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
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Good Thursday to you!I've been watching a really long trial on Youtube these last couple of nights and will finish tomorrowHopefully I'll be in the land of nod soon and I hope my peeps are having sweet dreams followed by a great daySending hugs...xo
rmb, I only called her Sunday morning bc I wanted to be certain if she told him or if he was assuming it so that I could be prepared if she did. I felt it important for my daughter and my sake. Clearly it was a mistake though, as friendly and inviting as she was about how she liked me and saying for me to "keep in touch."...something I had no intention of doing, other than the call. It's amazing that she would even believe anything he said about me seeing as she told me he was such liar and not to believe anything he says.
I feel like I walked into a landmine with this situation. A very upsetting day today was.
I thought I should allow his mean and threatening texts to come through as proof in case anything happened, although I haven't responded to them the past three plus times he's sent them. But I'm not so sure now.
You did what you believed is the right thing... Maybe it's time to just close the door on the two of them..... Big hug......xo