A lot of guys like watching to women. I wouldn't bother me much.
Now, if he was watching two guys.. That would be different. Eww

Who better to know how to please a woman than another woman? I think he's right in wanting to gleam some "tips" from lesbian porn on how to touch you. But I think he should've consulted you first. Sneaking behind your back and doing it without your knowledge or consent is what hurts.

Hi Koolman - yes thats it - !
I understand his point but I know he always masturbated to lesbian porn.we have a great sex life, every morning pretty much for the last two yearsbut he's been having the odd morning off so I suppose Im sensitive anyway to this I told him we should have looked at it togetheror he could have asked me.!!!

His technique needs some work TBH but he isn't an easy person to 'advise' or give tips toor even ' left a bit ! etc' Its frustrating for me, but it seems for him too? He is quite hard of hearing so if I do say anything like, faster, harder then I often have to say it three times before he hears me!!!

I like openness and honesty in my team-mate.so it made me sad he sneaked around.

agree on the two guys thing two - it did make me laugh!

THIS IS MY OPINION ONLY

I have no issues with porn. None. I watch it and expect any partner I am with to watch it. It's not normal conversation starter, so I'm not surprised it hasn't been brought up.

So if someone's partner starts watching fancy cooking shows, do we get all pissy and up at arms when we aren't getting gourmet meals daily? No.

At least it wasnt gay men

Sunnyjax,
Is it that he was watching porn, or that it was lesbians that bothers you?

If you don't mind the porn but mind the type, then I would try to let it go. Different people enjoy watching different things... that's why it's such a massive industry :) I think that the majority of guys have some hopeful mental image of whether two girls they thought were hot in high school or college ever hooked up with each other. He may be looking for tips, as he said.

If it's general porn watching that bothers you because you feel left out or whatever, then you probably have something worth talking about. I personally would find it hard to be open and honest of my partner came to me and said "so why do you like watching lesbian porn?" Instead, maybe try finding something that turns you on and ask him to watch it with you. if he feels like it's really ok, then he's more likely to include you.

Sunny - have you resolved any of the other, bigger issues you have posted about yet?

Didn't he sell your car one day, while you were at work?

It is a fantasy. Do you feel and know that he loves you and is happy or is there something going on that worries you?

Jeee Im not sure why this bothered me, I know in reality people look at stuff rightit shouldn't really be a big deal. I guess it just shocked me that he looked.

When we met he used to watch a lot (when he was single) and masturbate! .I suppose it made me feel Im not satisfying himand he's going back to satisfying himself.
I don't feel secure with him, especially with his past history of cheating. ( not with me yet,) so I suppose I felt maybe it was going down that road!

Its probably more my insecurities and worries about him cheating that freaked me out.
I did try and talk to him last night, he reacted badly and got cross - I just thought we should not have stuff we can't talk about in our relationship - I didn't make a big deal out of it - I was just being casual about it.he said he was worried he wasn't being good enough for me in bed I said he should ask me about these things. It ended ok.we are friends today!

As for the other issues - nothing resolved really - I feel its probably some issues with me somewhere which affects my reactions to him. He is a difficult person to be with though, he has issues with his staff who don't stay around long!!! Im not sure exactly what it is. He is often inappropriately friendly to people!

yes he did sell my car while I was out. it has taken me two years but I now have another!!! it has made me feel better about things.

Thanks for your help everyone.I do realise that the porn itself wasn't the issue.

Sounds like it was just a trigger for you and brought up all the bad stuff...
Hugs..
Hang in there, try not to worry too much over this, OK?

Porn doesn't bother me.
Hell I watch it too.

I would only be concerned if he would RATHER watch porn then be with you.

xxoo

Completely agree with SBJ

well you can look at it this way. what would you rather, him watching lesbian porn or, him asking you for a threesome? other than that you should simply have a heart to heart, let him know how you feel, see his mindset come to a compromise and/or mutual understanding.

gawd donreemio - thats really shocking and interesting.

I have always had mixed feelings about it. I watched some when I was young and for quite a long time I thought that was what men expected of ME too!!!
x

I didnt watch the video, but I 100% agree with posts #14 and #15. I have experienced it first hand with the boyfriend.
He was watching -admittedly- at least 3 times a day. When the time would come for us to get it on, it ..didnt work.
It was a result of his body being used to being stimulated in a very specific way. His expectations of sexual reality were WAY off and his sexual psyche was practically rioting.
It has since been resolved and the issue has been corrected.