Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Is it just me, or does anyone miss the way sex was before marriage, and especially before kids? It was so great when it just happened and you could be in the moment. Now you, at least I, haveto schedule it and it can't be spontanous. It's not that it's bad, it's just not as fun. And for me, when we have to do it when we can, plan it, not let it just happen, it is hard for me to get into it. To have those days back when it was anytime and anywhere! You know what I mean?
I'm not married but we have a 15mnth old an have been together for 5 years - having a babe has cemented commitment and lack of spontenaety like i imagine marriage AND kids does...
Although i still like to be spontanious sometimes. you just have to be willing to go with the flow more i think and not focus on tired or lack of time or mood - and just go for it and let the mood come when your half way in i say!
Maybe it cant be AS spontaneous as because but...you can still make it work and then have the best of both worlds. I dont think we have EVEr scheduled sex.
Just go through your daily routine and think about what you can change that might afford you an opportunity for some lovin.
Do you sit together on a couch or whatever to read the morning paper? Try reading it in bed...with a locked door.
Do you shower separately? Try to "conserve water" hehe.
See what I mean? Little stuff like that gives you the opportunity. You don't always have to take advantage of it (as that would start to feel scheduled too) but at least it's there.