Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
So Thursday he was fired from his job. Called me at work bawling. I didn't know what to say. I am surprised he lasted 4.5 months really. He has come home every day complaining about his job, his boss, how the place is ran. You name it and he complained about it. And because I was back to 2 jobs he decided if his boss talked down to him again that he was quitting. So him being fired was not shocking to me, nor should it have been to him. But somehow I ended up being the bad guy.....he was talking about the reason his boss fired him. I asked him if there was a chance that since his attitide toward work in general away from work was so negative that maybe it showed through at work as well. He freaked out and said "so you're blaming me for being fired?!?" Well yes it is his fault or he'd still have a job....however that turned to him telling me I am never supportive, despite everything I have said and done to/for him in his rough times. He got his dad involved....tried making me out to be a monster so I shut the door to the car and went into the house. A few minutes later he came in wanting to talk. Long story short his dad apparently said I was right he was wrong but I could care less. He took no ownership of anything and couldn't even apologize. So 2 days later I still have nothing to say to him and want him as far away as possible. He is already back to his normal self acting as though nothing happened. I think this is what I was waiting for to finally end it. I felt at first like I was kicking him while he was down but his actions tell a yotally different story than what he is saying....
Some of you may have read some of my other posts but does anyone have any insight? I think I have finally hit a point of no return in my relationship. Guess I just don't know the best way to ask him to leave. We have 3 kids together, he has no support where we live aside from me as he never made friends due to his hatred of the city and whatever other reason he has at the time. That being said he now has nothing else holding him here and he has a ton of support in our hometown. I realize the kids are here but when I left him last summer he barely contacted them, or he blew them off, if I did not drive them the 400km to and from him he would never have seen them. They all had either telephones or skype to contact back and forth regardless of day or time as both mom and dad are equal importance in their lives and I made sure to do everything in my power to lessen the physical distance.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
It sounds like you have been struggling with your marriage for a while if you were separated last summer?.... Getting his dad involved in his marriage isn't cool
If you want to separate I would have a discussion....... If he has problems with his temper I would make sure you and your children are safe...... Gentle hug.... This has to be really hard......xo
In terms of the house when we separated last year I moved and rented a house in my name only so legally speaking it is not his. But that means not much when I tell him plain as day how I feel and what I want.
We have had many discussions about separating but he always seems to wait till the dust settles and then he resumes life as normal(his normal). And then at that point I feel so frustrated and weak that he isn't listening to me but I don't know how to change it so he will without the kids seeing a blow out
gaslighting
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/power-in-relationships/200905/are-you-being-gaslighted
The fact that he gets his dad involved.... what, is he 10???
I think something I struggle with a lot is I feel bad for him and I am so wrapped up in making sure he is ok yet here I am miserable to the point I am physically becoming sick. I need to get out and I think I can finally feel the shift that I will leave soon after what has just happened in the past couple days. He has not apologized at all for anything either.
I feel horrible for my kids because I am not strong enough to get us out of this....even though it should be as easy as "hey we are done it isn't working and I need you to leave".
Is this the example of a good marriage/relationship you want to set for your children? Your children are at a very impressionable age. What they see now is how they will live their adult lives. Do you want your children to be where you are in 30-40 years?
Cora_Belle I appreciate your response too. It is absolutely not what I want my kids to view as normal. I have asked that question to myself multiple times but then comes the self doubt that maybe I am creating the problem and then my head plays games and it is a horrible cycle. Something I deal with every day and it breaks my heart that I have allowed my kids to be in this situation
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/signs-you-are-an-enabler_us_58545000e4b0390447089371