Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Hey everyone,
So I'm new to this support group stuff, mainly because I have, well had, too much pride. Buuuuut I feel broken, and I don't really have anywhere to go, and all my friends are back home. Military life, gotta love it (btw I just got out of the Navy, hubby is still in).... Anyway, I've been having problems with my husband a lot lately. I don’t know if it's the pregnancy hormones, or if it's me, or if I'm just done with his bs. He's good at manipulation and is a good liar. However, he is a GREAT father, hence why I haven't asked for a divorce. I want to try to work it out with him, but I don't feel like he cares. I've tried talking to him multiple times, especially about his smoking. He denies that he smokes even though I can smell it on him. Come on! I know you're lying, why can't you be honest?!?!
Well today, I had to drop my Human Anatomy and Physiology 2 class. Which really really bothers me! I was trying so hard to get an A, or at least a B so I could get into Radiology program, but I just didn’t do good enough. I feel like a failure because I had to drop it. Now I don’t know what I’m going to do, especially since we are moving soon and there are no colleges that have the radiology program nearby where we’re moving. I’ve been crying off and on all day, and my husband didn’t even realize it. I talked to him over the phone to let him know I was going to drop it, and he just said ok. No big deal, we will just find you a college when we move, or you can just get a different career. We are about to have our 2nd child, and there is no way in hell I want to let a baby sitter or day care that I don’t know personally watch our children! I hear wayyyyy too many stories in the news, and that terrifies me!! I’ve been blessed with a fantastic babysitter so far, and she’s seriously like my kids 2nd mother. She was there for me while my husband was deployed and it was just my son and I. I wish I didn’t have to move away! And our families are on the separate side of the country, so family isn’t an option for watching the littles ones. My husband just doesn’t understand. L maybe I’m overreacting?... The whole situation just has me really upset and it seems like he doesn’t care. Hell, he hasn’t even given me a foot massage, or back massage, or any kind of massage while I’ve been pregnant. I’m 7 months right now, and sore every day! He always says later to everything, and later never comes.
Anyone have any good advice?
Thanks in Advance!
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I'm very sorry you are going through this phase. I'm married to someone in the Navy as well. Although I don't have any children, I can fully understand how you're feeling and what you're going through.
Firstly, don't disregard your feelings. How you feel about yourself personally and with your marriage is important. You want to succeed at something before a deadline (moving) and it's not working out as planned. My advice on this matter is to figure out what other colleges online that would offer the prerequisites for the Radiology program for you to complete while in your new location and when you move to an area where you can enroll in the program, enroll and pick up from there. I find that mostly community colleges or universities programs can give you that flexibility. You will be able to stay home and raise the little ones. If that doesn't work out, you could then go for a plan B career goal that you could complete until you're able to retry the Radiology program. I know it's painful to feel like failure but you're when things are going wrong but you're not. Focus on a detailed career plan and don't give up.
Another idea is to finish school and then move to where your husband is located afterwards...but I'm sure that's a little difficult to do at this moment.
As far as your marriage; ksprizzle89 listed great advice. Counseling would help with the misunderstanding of feelings between you two. No matter how big or small the situation is to your husband, it's important for him to understand your feelings and not just solving the problem. I also know from experience that military counseling sucks big time lol. You might leave counseling with the idea of definitely getting a divorce lol. But try it out or sit down with your husband and let him know how you're feeling and that you need his support more than anything. I hope everything works out for you.