Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
about 3 weeks ago, chase and i signed up for this gym. it's amazing, there's a pool, jacuzzi, tons of classes, and we got the best deal on it! so for 3 weeks, chase and i have been going 5 times a week, for an hour to an hour and a half a day. we went with chase's best friend today, which was great because he wanted to do cardio with me while chase did a little cardio and a lot of weights. so we were upstairs on the eliptical, and i looked over and my psychotic, abusive ex boyfriend was there. my first thought was OMG SARAH GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW. so i went downstairs calmly over to chase, and the first thing he did was ask me if i wanted to leave. first of all, when i'm scared of people no one EVER asks if i want to leave. they just say it's okay and to calm down. second of all, before i met chase i would have ran the fuck out of there as fast as i could. but i stayed there for my normal time.
well my ex was with his friend, who just so happens to be friends with chase. so chase went over and told him a little bit of what happened and that we've already called the cops once and if my ex comes near me again, we are getting a restraining order. and his friend was like totally nice about it and said he wouldn't be anywhere near me and not to worry at all.
so i did all my normal stuff and chase was so proud that i stayed the whole time. and we talked about it and i realized, he can't hurt me anymore. but if i'm scared of him, he still wins. that's how abuse works, fear! so i made the decision to go to the same location, same gym, same days and hours. i have every right to be at that gym and he can't scare me away from it!
well i was just excited about this. because i see how much a healthy relationship has changed my life. my self esteem is so much better, and while i may have been freaked out today, i stayed there. i didn't run, even though i wanted to. i never would have been like that without chase. i know this may not seem like a huge victory, but it's just great to see how much stronger and happier i am in general.
i feel like i'm really safe and never have to worry.
i guess this isn't really a question or anything...i just wanted to share it with you guys. i just feel brave! i hope you are all having wonderful days as well :D
well my ex was with his friend, who just so happens to be friends with chase. so chase went over and told him a little bit of what happened and that we've already called the cops once and if my ex comes near me again, we are getting a restraining order. and his friend was like totally nice about it and said he wouldn't be anywhere near me and not to worry at all.
so i did all my normal stuff and chase was so proud that i stayed the whole time. and we talked about it and i realized, he can't hurt me anymore. but if i'm scared of him, he still wins. that's how abuse works, fear! so i made the decision to go to the same location, same gym, same days and hours. i have every right to be at that gym and he can't scare me away from it!
well i was just excited about this. because i see how much a healthy relationship has changed my life. my self esteem is so much better, and while i may have been freaked out today, i stayed there. i didn't run, even though i wanted to. i never would have been like that without chase. i know this may not seem like a huge victory, but it's just great to see how much stronger and happier i am in general.
i feel like i'm really safe and never have to worry.
i guess this isn't really a question or anything...i just wanted to share it with you guys. i just feel brave! i hope you are all having wonderful days as well :D
I knew I was healed 2 years ago when I literally ran into him again at the grocery store. I was at the deli, got my stuff and turned to walk while looking over my store list, not paying attention and i walked right into him. I looked up to apologize to the person I walked into and saw it was him. For a second when we made eye contact I could feel this overwhelming fear hit me along with anger but then it left me as quickly as it came on me. I just walked away, finished my shopping and thought to myself he no longer scares me which means he no longer has any control over me and my life.
It's a great feeling, be proud of yourself that you have taken control back.
kate! did you just join this group? thank you! i'm actually going to the gym today again :D