Great article. There is a good book on the subject by Shirley Glass. Not just friends.

I'll havre to check that out.

Great article... It sounds just like the conversations i had on multiple occasions with my bf. This should not even be an issue!!
Asserting my boundaries has been an exhausting task, like moving an elephant up the mountain..

I hate the fight to hold boundaries. It's not worth it. If they want to play the field then they should just go and leave people who aren't interested in that game alone. Cake and eat it to syndrome.

I agree with you Whipple, we shouldn't have to fight to keep someone around.

It feels like you have to constantly prove yourself and, if you don't, then the punishment is your partner will have an affair.

The lying, half-truths, etc....and the amount of work someone has to put in, in order to make sure their cheater is trustworthy. People will spend years, checking phones, facebook, demanding their partner checks in X amount of times when they are out.

When this happened to me back in the day, when I was married, I thought, "I'm not his prison warden". The fact is, if someone wants to cheat, they will. It's not particularly hard to do.

I'd rather keep growing myself mentally and emotionally, enriching my other relationships, then spending precious time, begging a cheating spouse to stay or "proving" myself to someone so they deem me good enough not to cheat on. There is just simply too much life to live to waste time.

It is an awful experience to go through I can tell you from experience.
Looking back from a distance now it is hard for me to believe there was nothing physical going on. That's how intense it was.

Great article. It looks like it was written in a letter addressed to me. I have been trapped in an emotionally abusive marriage to an alcoholic for several years.
In times of weakness, I sought emotional comfort elsewhere and I was always the one who got hurt. Probably because I deserved it.
I can't justify what I did, but this incredibly powerful. Thank you for posting it