Healthy Relationships Support Group
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My boyfriend just started following this girl on Instagram- a girl I know very well from the past who has a history of being slutty and home wrecking. He has told me before in conversation he thinks she's "hot" and I've been very open and said I don't like her and don't want her around him, because of her past reputation. We have seen her out a couple times and I have noticed him checking her out and vice versa-- I always get that deep pit in my stomach like something's going on. It could be made up, and they rarely would see each other out unless they planned it or if they bumped in through two mutual friends I have, but my boyfriend NEVER follows anyone on Instagram (he really doesn't care all that much). The few females he has followed (myself included) are either ones he finds attractive, or ones he spoke with in the past... What is unsettling about this is that thy are NOT regular friends and he knows how much I don't like her because of her slutty antics, and he has called her hot on multiple occasions. Instagram is somewhat harmless, and they couldn't really communicate unless it was snapchat or texting, but it shows me that he's interested enough to check out her pics and give her the follow.... usually he doesn't care enough to follow people in the first place. I feel silently disrespected like he did this behind my back because there's no way he would know I knew unless I told him, and that alone is very invasive, because it would suggest I took the time out of my day to go through his Instagram and see who he follows.. (Not as easy as snapchat when you can visibly see the top 3). Is this harmless? Should I feel concerned and disrespected... Especially since he normally does not care with Instagram? I have that awful pit of betrayal and hurt in my stomach. Talking to him about it will make me seem controlling since Instagram is not direct contact, but more so following other peoples photos.... Which suggests he wants to see pics of her without me knowing. Please help.
.What does your gut say?
Like, he has his computer background as some hot blonde in a bikini laying on a Ferrari?
Or he LOVES those Carls Jr commercials with some supermodel eating a big greasy burger overfilled with ketchup while she lays in the sun on the beach?
He loves gonzo jumbo boobs?
Is he that type? Cause all you say about him is how much he talks about and is friends with hot girls. Doesnt he have any hobbies?
How long are you going to stay in a relationship with someone where youre constantly suspicious of his every move and his every "friend"?
Either his or your perception of reality is way off here - either he thinks too much with whats in his pants, or you just believe he does. Regardless, you two have different views of whats acceptable in this relationship. Why are you wasting your time?
If your relationship isn't based upon mutual respect and trust...you're in for a hard road ahead. Have a chat with him and if he doesn't see it as a big deal then you have a decision to make about that relationship.