Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
The age old question right? Just kidding but here's the deal. I have been seeing a girl for about 4 months. I used the word seeing lightly though because we go to school 3 hours apart so we don't "see" each other that often but we talk or text every day. Anyways today she asked me to go to her senior ball with her at her college. And after I said yes her response was "yeah I just didn't know who else to ask, I was going to go alone but all of my friends that are going have boyfriends".
I just don't get it, what is that. Is she excited to ask me or was I just convenient. I know I'm probably reading to much into this I mean if she didn't want me to go she wouldn't have asked me to make the 3 hour drive to be with her. I have gone to visit her once before.
This has actually been a problem from the get go. I like her a lot and love spending time with her however there are things I don't love so much and one if her lack of emotion. I know she enjoys being with me because quite frankly if she didn't she wouldn't, and I do believe its that simple. But I could stand for her being a bit more emotionally in touch. I'm into holding hands and cuddling and all that and she is to but not like I wish she would be. If we're sitting on a couch and I put my arm around her she is ok with it but she's not super responsive. I was with a girl once who if I did that she would lean into me and sit closer and this new girl will do that in a sense but its just not as obvious.
I know 4 months is not a long time, and I can admit I have been working on dealing with the stress this use to cause me and I will say that I'm not as stressed and full of angst like I was when this first started but I'm just curious of what you all are thinking.
Thanks for reading, I always look for and find the comfort I need here
Thanks everyone.
I just don't get it, what is that. Is she excited to ask me or was I just convenient. I know I'm probably reading to much into this I mean if she didn't want me to go she wouldn't have asked me to make the 3 hour drive to be with her. I have gone to visit her once before.
This has actually been a problem from the get go. I like her a lot and love spending time with her however there are things I don't love so much and one if her lack of emotion. I know she enjoys being with me because quite frankly if she didn't she wouldn't, and I do believe its that simple. But I could stand for her being a bit more emotionally in touch. I'm into holding hands and cuddling and all that and she is to but not like I wish she would be. If we're sitting on a couch and I put my arm around her she is ok with it but she's not super responsive. I was with a girl once who if I did that she would lean into me and sit closer and this new girl will do that in a sense but its just not as obvious.
I know 4 months is not a long time, and I can admit I have been working on dealing with the stress this use to cause me and I will say that I'm not as stressed and full of angst like I was when this first started but I'm just curious of what you all are thinking.
Thanks for reading, I always look for and find the comfort I need here
Thanks everyone.
If it was me, I'd call and tell her that I had changed my mind about going.
It just sounds like she is not anywhere near as into you as you are into her. Her body language is telling you that, too.
4 months isn't a long time, but it's EASILY enough time to tell if this relationship is going to go anywhere, and it really sounds to me like it is not.
I would much rather see you with a girl who responds to you more like your other girlfriend used to, affection-wise!!!
I guess all I can add is that long distance relationships never last. At first I thought maybe that this gal wants you to move there and be with her. I figured that her lack of emotion had to do with holding back affection out of self-preservation and self-respect. If she lets herself express her true emotions she risks being burned because you're so far away and not unclined to commit to her either. That's how it played out in my mind's eye. Committment is impossible in a long-distance relationship. I think she knows it too and is settling for your company and insecure affection exchange because it is better than nothing and maybe she is hoping you'll move there.
MudPuddle, I agree long distance relationships can be tough but a three hour drive is hardly long distance, especially for college students.
Any thoughts? I don't believe this is leading her on because she isn't attached enough to think that, or at least I don't think she is.
When you say "casual" what does that mean exactly? Are you both dating other people? Are you Platonic?
My friends tell me we just lack communication and need to talk about things and they are right, that's just hard for me to do. It's never been easy only because I never seem to know what to say.