I am not a 40 year old but I think with everything, it depends on the person. I am 50 and the man that I was recently was in his 50s always very affectionate, sex was incredible. He unfortunately wanted a maid, housekeeper and cook along with me working full-time with minor children. Do I think all men in their 50s are like that, I sure hope not. You were just with the wrong person for you

I honestly don't know what's up with guys in there 4o's!!! ( I'm 45) I'm dating someone who's 49 and it's more like i'm his best buddy!(Sorry not good enough for me) I wan't to have love and affection & of course sex!!!! So time for me to say BYE!!!!

I think I'm more amorous than I was when I was 18 years old. Just happen to have a wife who has no interest in me.

I'm 41 and my fiance is 42 and we're best friends and everything else! He's affectionate/attentive etc. We're homebodies that do the cuddling on the couch stuff; We do got out every now and again. He loves to cook which is a super super A++ (and sexy to me!) because I was tired of cooking lol! As for sex we're like 2 bottles of fine wine that have gotten better with age ;)

So in answer to your question, no they're not all like that!

I’m a 55 year old guy interested in affection, love, and sex. I also enjoy cleaning, keeping the house and yard in order, and cooking. I keep all the bills paid too. So I would say that there are men out there that have the qualities you’re looking for. You just need to find them.

Sex drive does seem to decline with age for guys as testosterone levels go down, but it doesn't mean that their minds are lacking sex drive, this is why we have pills.
All the men I dated over 40 still wanted sex. I think it is a matter of just finding the right fit. If you want, try to go a few years younger ?
I know that this is kind of forward, but there is nothing wrong with making it clear what you want from a guy you are planning on dating.
I m not sure there is any point to get to know each other deeper and develop attachment if sex is an important part of a relationship you desire.
I ve told people before that my sex is important to me. My last long relationship was 6 years sex was not satisfying. After I found a new partner, it seems like I can deal with a lot of things, but I can never go back to a sexless relationship again.
Be happy !

Thanks everybody! I don't mind hanging out watching movies etc. I don't have to go out etc. But I do enjoy the hugging kissing etc. I probably put way to much on physical touch (cuddling,etc)...maybe because my first marriage of 10 years there was none unless we were having sex. He really didn't like any physical contact except during sex. Maybe that's why I crave physical touch so much.

Lol...this post made me smile...we were just talking about this same thing....sadly two people in their 40s are usually too busy with work, children, cooking, house chores ..etc etc etc to truly enjoy sex....now that I'm retired no kids, no wife, no work...all the time in the world SEX is great...the right partner is so very important... I find ladies who are older and in a similar position as I am to be the best partners... No concern about pregnancy, they take time to look elegant, the sexy lingerie, they will try things they never thought of doing, never in a rush, candle light, soft music, a few glasses of wine a lot of foreplay.. So maybe its all in your future. Nothing wrong with cuddling, however at my age it usually leads to more sex.....:-)

@yorman1 people at ANY age can be too busy! You have to take the time to find the time for intimacy! Yes I have a little one but trust and believe we find the time :P As for looking "elegant/lingerie" in the words of my husband, "yes you look sexy as hell in that but for what when it's about to be off!" Lol! And you're meeting the wrong 40 somethings that as you say, "will try things they never thought of doing...." because everything you listed are in my book ;)

Gregsbaby....remember I was 40/one time and yes I had a beautiful wife and two wonderful children...I worked 12 hour days usually 6 days a week...we had a large home 2800/sf...no housekeeper (my wife) as well as she prepared all the meals (most I was not home for)....she still managed to always look great when I got home...My ass was dragging.after a 12/hour day, I'm sorry BUT in many cases we went through the motions..of course I did not have anything to compare too. At my.age now I have something to compare too, and someday you will be able to talk about it.but until you get there. Enjoy what you do have at the present, ignorance is bliss..

Oh lawd I was just voicing my opinion about being 40 and fab and reassuring artchick that not all men 40 something are total unhorny duds!
Thanks btw I am enjoying what I have now and in the future I will as well! There was no need for the "ignorance is bliss" analogy. Life is what you make of it in every decade of your journey in this thing called life!

I'm thinking maybe I'm always "searching" for the right one and maybe the right ones are more comfortable being single and alone...idk...maybe eventually someone wonderful will come into my life and we will feel mutually attracted and affectionate and love one another...fairytail I know lol until that day I can spend time with good friends

NO two people are the same honestly and stereo typing really ends up being silly in a way. There are a lot of men in the world that fit this or that category, but often the questions that the women ask about all men, most men, or even 40's men on this sight do not pertain to the real men on this sight. Real men meaning genuine and not the POS troll's trying to play people on this sight. See those men in the stereotype and the trolls here also being those men fit the stereo type so well as they always seem to just want sex or a maid or a servant. Other then the trolls you wont find those men here, because they don't care about your feelings, wants, needs, or desires and often their own selfish needs always come first.

The majority of men on this sight often care about their partner and offer support to people here, because they are different and do care. However often those men were taken advantage of or passed over by women for the exact type of men that fit the stereotypical mold.

I feel the absolute biggest mistake ALL people make in relationships is becoming complacent and getting stuck in a comfortable rut. Going forward communicate your needs and desires. Look for red flags from the start. To me affection and intimacy is very important in a relationship.

Best of luck and if you have not read the 5 Love Languages it is a very good book.

Thank you for your input. Yes I bought it and read it recently. Great read and I do agree with it a lot. I'm just speaking from my experience and that's why I wanted other's opinions. I either find someone that is affectionate but only because they want sex and then leave or cheat. Or someone that's more of a "good friend " and is really not interested in affection, physical touch and yes eventually sex. I would love to find a great caring,affection guy that we would fall in love and be best friends. I think that's just in the movies. At 43 dating is really different and difficult I find.

companion, love, sex, & intimacy
hard to find
and people ignore a truth
love like everything else is a constant series of big and mostly little choices , most people don't have the staying power over the long to make the choices from the perspective of right, wrong, and what's important for the relationship