Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I have been dating my girlfriend for a year and 5 months and we have been having some issues here. I'm going to make this short and sweet, I love her with everything inside of me. She is my best friend and we have so much in common. I love nothing more than sitting next to her and holding her hand. When I'm lucky enough to sleep in the same bed as her I wake up next to her and just smile and that's it.
We have been having some issues lately and I am going to say right now it's probably my fault. Basically its like this, I am 23 years old she is my first girlfriend and first girl I have ever slept with (I apologize for the topic I hope its not inappropriate for this group). She has had previous boyfriends and have had previous partners. She use to insists on telling me all about her past and it use to bother me a lot. I just didn't want to hear about it. She has had a very different lifestyle than I had, she use to party a lot and have done things I would never have thought about doing. These things are all in the past and she tells me that she was young and stupid and didn't care about herself then. She tells me how I have changed her life and how she just wants to be with me forever.
This is just hard for me, I'm a young guy and all my friends are telling me that the only reason I'm with her is because I'm afraid of being single and alone. I wish my friends were more supportive of my girlfriend because she means a lot to me.
A couple weeks ago she started telling me about her past and she told me about this time she "jokingly" gave her number to a DJ at a bar when she was visiting her brother. She was out of town and told me it was a joke because she never gave him her area code and she was joking around with him, she said it was in no way romantic. This upset me incredibly and we have been fighting ever since, I know I'm not mad at her about the number only. I know that deep down I'm jealous and wish that I could go out and date around be with other people just like she did. I told her a long time ago to stop telling about her past because I was afraid of this happening. I was afraid that one day it would be too much and I wouldn't be able to take it anymore.
I'm scared because I'm on the verge of breaking up with her and I can't even decide why exactly. Am I being terribly immature? Why can't I just love her for who she is and not who I think she use to be? Please any advice would be much appreciated.
Than you everyone!
We have been having some issues lately and I am going to say right now it's probably my fault. Basically its like this, I am 23 years old she is my first girlfriend and first girl I have ever slept with (I apologize for the topic I hope its not inappropriate for this group). She has had previous boyfriends and have had previous partners. She use to insists on telling me all about her past and it use to bother me a lot. I just didn't want to hear about it. She has had a very different lifestyle than I had, she use to party a lot and have done things I would never have thought about doing. These things are all in the past and she tells me that she was young and stupid and didn't care about herself then. She tells me how I have changed her life and how she just wants to be with me forever.
This is just hard for me, I'm a young guy and all my friends are telling me that the only reason I'm with her is because I'm afraid of being single and alone. I wish my friends were more supportive of my girlfriend because she means a lot to me.
A couple weeks ago she started telling me about her past and she told me about this time she "jokingly" gave her number to a DJ at a bar when she was visiting her brother. She was out of town and told me it was a joke because she never gave him her area code and she was joking around with him, she said it was in no way romantic. This upset me incredibly and we have been fighting ever since, I know I'm not mad at her about the number only. I know that deep down I'm jealous and wish that I could go out and date around be with other people just like she did. I told her a long time ago to stop telling about her past because I was afraid of this happening. I was afraid that one day it would be too much and I wouldn't be able to take it anymore.
I'm scared because I'm on the verge of breaking up with her and I can't even decide why exactly. Am I being terribly immature? Why can't I just love her for who she is and not who I think she use to be? Please any advice would be much appreciated.
Than you everyone!
deleted_user
Ok so I have a few words of advice on this one. I can kind of relate to this. But from her perspective. I myself used to be a little wild. I'm 23 and from 17-19 I partied and did a lot of things I now regret. My current boyfriend (who sounds like he is very much like yourself) has only been with one other girl and was raised in a very sheltered home. But in the past 4 years I have changed my life drastictly and I can relate to her in that since. I know that he has changed me even more and my life has been incredible since we met. BUT I don't know her so I don't know if her changes are true or if she's just lieing to you. It kinda sounds to me though that you may need to get out there and experience life for yourself. If she continues to throw her past in your face you may start to think " what am I missing out on" and that's only going to make you want out more. Which might not be such a bad idea. If you truly love each other it will work itself out. But just to be honost here, I doubt it will last if you are feeling this way now. You need to strongly evaluate your pros and cons here. Take a step back and think. Your friends know you very well, would they really say those things if they didn't believe it to be true? I know mine wouldn't and from my past experiences I have learned to listen more to what people say. We get so wrapped up in our lives that we CAN'T see what's really going on. We see what we WANT to see. Best of luck to you.
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