Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I have been dating my girlfriend for a year and 5 months and we have been having some issues here. I'm going to make this short and sweet, I love her with everything inside of me. She is my best friend and we have so much in common. I love nothing more than sitting next to her and holding her hand. When I'm lucky enough to sleep in the same bed as her I wake up next to her and just smile and that's it.
We have been having some issues lately and I am going to say right now it's probably my fault. Basically its like this, I am 23 years old she is my first girlfriend and first girl I have ever slept with (I apologize for the topic I hope its not inappropriate for this group). She has had previous boyfriends and have had previous partners. She use to insists on telling me all about her past and it use to bother me a lot. I just didn't want to hear about it. She has had a very different lifestyle than I had, she use to party a lot and have done things I would never have thought about doing. These things are all in the past and she tells me that she was young and stupid and didn't care about herself then. She tells me how I have changed her life and how she just wants to be with me forever.
This is just hard for me, I'm a young guy and all my friends are telling me that the only reason I'm with her is because I'm afraid of being single and alone. I wish my friends were more supportive of my girlfriend because she means a lot to me.
A couple weeks ago she started telling me about her past and she told me about this time she "jokingly" gave her number to a DJ at a bar when she was visiting her brother. She was out of town and told me it was a joke because she never gave him her area code and she was joking around with him, she said it was in no way romantic. This upset me incredibly and we have been fighting ever since, I know I'm not mad at her about the number only. I know that deep down I'm jealous and wish that I could go out and date around be with other people just like she did. I told her a long time ago to stop telling about her past because I was afraid of this happening. I was afraid that one day it would be too much and I wouldn't be able to take it anymore.
I'm scared because I'm on the verge of breaking up with her and I can't even decide why exactly. Am I being terribly immature? Why can't I just love her for who she is and not who I think she use to be? Please any advice would be much appreciated.
Than you everyone!
We have been having some issues lately and I am going to say right now it's probably my fault. Basically its like this, I am 23 years old she is my first girlfriend and first girl I have ever slept with (I apologize for the topic I hope its not inappropriate for this group). She has had previous boyfriends and have had previous partners. She use to insists on telling me all about her past and it use to bother me a lot. I just didn't want to hear about it. She has had a very different lifestyle than I had, she use to party a lot and have done things I would never have thought about doing. These things are all in the past and she tells me that she was young and stupid and didn't care about herself then. She tells me how I have changed her life and how she just wants to be with me forever.
This is just hard for me, I'm a young guy and all my friends are telling me that the only reason I'm with her is because I'm afraid of being single and alone. I wish my friends were more supportive of my girlfriend because she means a lot to me.
A couple weeks ago she started telling me about her past and she told me about this time she "jokingly" gave her number to a DJ at a bar when she was visiting her brother. She was out of town and told me it was a joke because she never gave him her area code and she was joking around with him, she said it was in no way romantic. This upset me incredibly and we have been fighting ever since, I know I'm not mad at her about the number only. I know that deep down I'm jealous and wish that I could go out and date around be with other people just like she did. I told her a long time ago to stop telling about her past because I was afraid of this happening. I was afraid that one day it would be too much and I wouldn't be able to take it anymore.
I'm scared because I'm on the verge of breaking up with her and I can't even decide why exactly. Am I being terribly immature? Why can't I just love her for who she is and not who I think she use to be? Please any advice would be much appreciated.
Than you everyone!
Women love to be romanced so go all out.. I have discovered a web site that could help you out. www.lovingyou.com. It's a really good site giving you all kinds of ideas as far as romantic things. There is also books on the market called 1000 questions for couples which is good to get to know someone on an even deeper level.. I don't know if the 2 of you are firm believers in God but if you are there is a book at walmart called The Love Dare for couples... It is a book of 365 days on how love should be. It could be something that the 2 of you do together each day.. All these things I wish I had available to me before the woman I have loved the most went back to living as she did in her wild past!!! Don't be like me and think you are doing just enough to keep her.. Go all out as much as you can as far as making her feel like there is no man out there for her better then you and you should be ok..
Who cares what your friends think of her.. At least they are being honest on how they feel.. As far as I go everyone I know didn't care for the woman I was with because they knew she would later hurt me but said nothing until after it was to late. At least if they had I would have either not have went there or would have done even more to prevent such a heart break for me..
If you are that confused about what to do go and talk to a counselor about how you feel and your doubts and ask their advice.. They specialize in everything and you can't go wrong with them.. All the advice I am giving could later save you from the worst thing that has ever happened to you to where you are so full of regret and wishes that you would have done this or that..
Good luck man!!!