Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I instinctively knew it .. two weeks ago .. that an acquaintance of over a year was not my friend. I prepared myself to express what was bothering me. Her response was as I dreaded.
I could not just listen on and on .. when there was no change. No follow up on community resources ...with chaos spiraling out of control with her focus on training for leadership. Not willing to lower expenses .. being bailed out by others month after month after month. In our group, she dominates the discussion week after week. But resists any feedback other than praise and giving to her. Money, attention, time.
Response? She hailed her godliness .. dismissing me as manipulative; overstepping boundaries and unloving.
It's hard when the mask comes off.
And I thought it was an honor to talk to a friend directly rather than resent them or gossip. And said so. Response? More hot air. "Don't contact me again." Giving me an earful.
I'm a preacher's kid. What troubles me in Christiandom is a certain bravado... in righteous robes... holding ourselves above others. So that no one can be honest with us. It's elementary .. a friend cannot be defensive. Closed off. And a leader is held to a higher standard yet.
I was noticing for some time. Constantly interrupting me, turning my story into her own story. Not really listening. Not answering direct questions. Unsure how to unravel .. one of her stories.
I've come from trauma, too. Some of most primitive betrayals a human can suffer. I had to confront those closest to me while trembling inside.
The friends I shared those trauma days with .. were affected in similar ways. It's possible to gloss over it. None of them are friends today. They didn't leave it behind; instead used me as a punching ball. I made the mistake of being too soft .. for too long. But I've 'seen the light'....
When I described some of these confusing friendships, the response is "I don't have 'friends' like that." Voila. There you have it. FREEDOM OF CHOICE.
Declaration of Independence: I will choose friends who embrace life. Who will be happy with me. And be for me... as I will be for them.
I could not just listen on and on .. when there was no change. No follow up on community resources ...with chaos spiraling out of control with her focus on training for leadership. Not willing to lower expenses .. being bailed out by others month after month after month. In our group, she dominates the discussion week after week. But resists any feedback other than praise and giving to her. Money, attention, time.
Response? She hailed her godliness .. dismissing me as manipulative; overstepping boundaries and unloving.
It's hard when the mask comes off.
And I thought it was an honor to talk to a friend directly rather than resent them or gossip. And said so. Response? More hot air. "Don't contact me again." Giving me an earful.
I'm a preacher's kid. What troubles me in Christiandom is a certain bravado... in righteous robes... holding ourselves above others. So that no one can be honest with us. It's elementary .. a friend cannot be defensive. Closed off. And a leader is held to a higher standard yet.
I was noticing for some time. Constantly interrupting me, turning my story into her own story. Not really listening. Not answering direct questions. Unsure how to unravel .. one of her stories.
I've come from trauma, too. Some of most primitive betrayals a human can suffer. I had to confront those closest to me while trembling inside.
The friends I shared those trauma days with .. were affected in similar ways. It's possible to gloss over it. None of them are friends today. They didn't leave it behind; instead used me as a punching ball. I made the mistake of being too soft .. for too long. But I've 'seen the light'....
When I described some of these confusing friendships, the response is "I don't have 'friends' like that." Voila. There you have it. FREEDOM OF CHOICE.
Declaration of Independence: I will choose friends who embrace life. Who will be happy with me. And be for me... as I will be for them.
I agree!
I love your last sentence too.
I have pretty much surrounded myself with a loving community. I have a good network of support from people who love me unconditionally, are not judgmental and freely offer their love and support.