Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Needing some advice...
I am 32 and last year I lost my boyfriend of two years to alcoholism. Watching someone you love suffer from an addiction is one of the most painful things I've ever had to endure. It has been an emotional roller coaster of a year.
However, I am at the point that I'm ready to date again. And I started to give online dating a go. I was setting up a few dates a week and having a great time. I feel like I started to get the "old me" back. Anyways, I can't say one bad thing about any of the guys I've been on a date with. However, none of these dates have gone past a 1st date and I'm starting to get a complex. Granted I wasn't super crazy about anyone in particular, however, I would have loved to have gone on a second date with some in order to see if there was a connection. I feel that first dates are hard at times, but you usually know instantly if there is no connection... and I didn't have that "absolute no connection" feeling with anyone. I have had so many dates that it was hard to keep up at one point... but that's all they were, first dates only.
After my boyfriend died, I went through this phase that I wasn't good enough. I was fighting this fight with him and when I didn't see him fight hard back I took it as "I wasn't good enough to fight for". While I know that it was a disease, it is hard to not take things personally. And, now I'm wondering the same thing again with these guys I'm going on dates from online dating. I have kept the death of my last boyfriend from any conversations... I don't feel the need to share that with someone until I'm ready.
I have a million girlfriend and several guy friends and have wonderful relationships with everyone who is in my life. Why am I struggling dating again? Even before my last boyfriend, dating was never easy for me. Am I not confident enough? Am I going into these dates with no emotions? I'm just unsure of what I could be doing wrong. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I would really like to have a successful and happy relationship again...
I am 32 and last year I lost my boyfriend of two years to alcoholism. Watching someone you love suffer from an addiction is one of the most painful things I've ever had to endure. It has been an emotional roller coaster of a year.
However, I am at the point that I'm ready to date again. And I started to give online dating a go. I was setting up a few dates a week and having a great time. I feel like I started to get the "old me" back. Anyways, I can't say one bad thing about any of the guys I've been on a date with. However, none of these dates have gone past a 1st date and I'm starting to get a complex. Granted I wasn't super crazy about anyone in particular, however, I would have loved to have gone on a second date with some in order to see if there was a connection. I feel that first dates are hard at times, but you usually know instantly if there is no connection... and I didn't have that "absolute no connection" feeling with anyone. I have had so many dates that it was hard to keep up at one point... but that's all they were, first dates only.
After my boyfriend died, I went through this phase that I wasn't good enough. I was fighting this fight with him and when I didn't see him fight hard back I took it as "I wasn't good enough to fight for". While I know that it was a disease, it is hard to not take things personally. And, now I'm wondering the same thing again with these guys I'm going on dates from online dating. I have kept the death of my last boyfriend from any conversations... I don't feel the need to share that with someone until I'm ready.
I have a million girlfriend and several guy friends and have wonderful relationships with everyone who is in my life. Why am I struggling dating again? Even before my last boyfriend, dating was never easy for me. Am I not confident enough? Am I going into these dates with no emotions? I'm just unsure of what I could be doing wrong. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I would really like to have a successful and happy relationship again...
It's a perfect storm. If you are too friendly you'll scare them away. If your not friendly enough/perfect enough you'll scare them away.
You Always hear that it's a numbers game so I guess you just have to just keep at it u.til you find someone who is somewhere in the middle.