Everything in our life, people who have passed through our life, our experiences from the simple to the extreme, from the good to the bad, from the loving to the traumatic are a part of who we are today. With everything being a part of us, we have the power to mold ourselves into us being who we want to be. We can be loving, kind, honest, have empathy or we can continue being a victim, manipulate people, want others feel sorry for us and live our lives in anger.

We all have choices, we all have the choice to allow something or someone to make us bitter and angry, continue being a victim or we can allow ourselves to rise above the hurt, the pain and free ourselves from it.

I think our character, good or bad, is formed in early childhood.

If an unruly toddler isn't corrected, this behaviour can follow it into adulthood. Similarly, if a child is nurtured to have healthy self-esteem and taught self-discipline, this too will follow it into adulthood. I think all these factors help shape our character and how we see and interact with the world around us.

My early childhood, family life, overall, was wonderful. School, from 4th to 7th grade anyway, was a living hell. Kids picked on me. Hurt turned to rage. Rage turned to violence (beating up on my poor brother).

I learned to temper the rage (after apologizing to my poor brother, who was physically outgrowing me anyway and beginning to beat up on me too) by funneling it, channeling it, into obsessive constructive hobbies, like filmmaking and photography, which, to this day, are a great outlet for early pain and anger, and also a great way to create excitement in my life. This excitement-seeking, thrill-seeking mentality, has, well, excited my life, but, when it comes to dealing with human beings, well, the human condition is not always exciting.

It took me to about age 40 to learn how to express, and receive, love. And love is not always on MY terms. Now, at almost age 47, I think I'm on the right emotional "chord", know how to give and receive love, how to manage pain, but sometimes anger still emerges. Being comfortable in myself, with others, and what I consider boredom and misery, that seems to be an integral part of the human condition, that seems to be the current goal.

Thanks, ladies!

Koolman, it seems like you've learned a lot on life's journey, and I think it's by overcoming our 'demons' that we come out the other side a better person. Those who blame others for their 'shortcomings' fail to learn much about themselves and can fall into the trap of the victim you mentioned in your OP.

"just because you ARE a character, doesn't mean you HAVE character" ~Winston Wolfe

"When a man looks into the abyss, he finds his character. That character keeps him out of the abyss." -Hal Holbrook, to Charlie Sheen's Bud Fox before Bud is arrested for insider trading in the movie Wall Street

It is when we are forced to face the abyss that our character is truly tested - Artemis000

:-)

I think it is a sense of self as an individual, it Separates us from others.. makes us unique..



http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Character-Through-Integrity

I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday, that person cannot say, I choose otherwise." -Stephen R. Covey

" I like the saying.. "when things are going well.. a man will show some of his character. When things are bad.. he will show you all of it"

i like the saying, "call me anything you want, just don't call me late for dinner."

i'm sure it was probably a very wise man with lots of character who said that.

lots of character and "bowls of rolls" lol

My character seems to be a dual nature, Jekyl and Hyde.

Sometimes I care deeply for other human beings and will give you the shirt off my back if necessary, sometimes I could care less, feel anti-social, and just want to be left alone, out for my own selfish desires.

Today I'm somewhere in the middle, subject to stimulation in either direction.

I have come to believe that character is being true to yourself and others. Say what you do. Do what you say

I value honesty, integrity and kindness.

I know I am not perfect. I don't expect others to be perfect

Perfect: Yes, agree.

Willing to make an effort to be loving: More important.