The fear of being alone (or lonely) is a lot worse than the reality of it. It was the fear of being alone that kept me trapped in an unhappy situation for years.

In practice, yes it hurt to end the relationship and the fire few months were very difficult, but it was nothing like as bad as my fears.

If you're only in this relationship out of fear, do yourself a favour, have courage and move on.

A relationship without complete mutual trust has no foundation to stand on. Being in a relationship due to fear of being alone, has no foundation to stand on. If you don't trust her, if you're with her because of your own fears, your issues, you're not being fair to her or to you.

A strong, healthy. happy relationship starts with both partners being happy within themselves. A good relationship adds to your happiness, it's not dependent on a relationship.

When you live in fear, you're not living, you're just existing. To fight your fears, you need to face your fears head on. If you want a healthy relationship, you need to be in the relationship for the right reasons, not the wrong reasons.

I was once told that any time I make a decision based on fear, I am probably making the wrong choice.

Being alone doesn't feel nearly as bad as being in a bad relationship does. How are you feeling now? Unhappy? Stressed? You can't trust her? None of those are good feelings. If you end things you will end up feeling a lot of weight being taken off your shoulders, sure there might be some sadness for a while- but you aren't exactly happy right now either. GIven a little time you will start feeling good and have peace of mind again and before you know it you will be ready to meet the right person who will treat you right. It's all just one day or sometimes one hour at a time. I'd talk to her and let her know that if this is choice she is going to make then it's something you can't accept and you will move on. Living with an ex and making excuses instead of changing the situation, pretty much tells you how things are going to be.

That is true thanks

you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.

i think time alone, in no relationship, would be good for you.

While you're wasting time on ms. Wrong, ms. Right may walk right in front of your face, only you won't know it b/c your wasting all this energy trying to be with someone who doesn't even respect you. Think about it.

Turn toward a higher power (call if God or whatever you will) and fixate on that power, trusting in that power to guide you through whatever.

At the very least, it'll ease the anxiety and help you sleep at night. Works for me! I like women, but I don't really NEED a woman, because I've got God.

Having the strength to be alone and not being afraid of being alone, gives you the power to get what you want out of a relationship or end it.

Hey Man,
All the posts above are right on. After 14 years of marrage I will be divorced next month. I was convinced i was going to fall on my face but each month that I am on my own I feel stronger in the fact I am making it by my self. The one post above is right if you choice to end the relationship there will be this freedom of burden that will be lifted from you.

The first step is always the hardest...
I have stayed in more than one bad relationship out of the fear of the unknown. It was a huge relief to be on my own!
I'm not denying that I had some bad days, but the good well outweighed the bad!
It's a process...
(((hugs))))

Being alone can be scarey, no doubt. But feeling anxious and not trusting and basically worrying about what your partner may or may not be doing sounds pretty lonely too.

Believe me, I tried everything to make my relationship work, but it still ended and now I am dealing with my frustration at not ending i sooner!

My point is, if you are anxious about it, it may come to pass. Being alone and happy is not that bad!

Hugs.