Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
what a "healthy relationship" is? Apparently I have no clue, even when I thought I was in one. Now another is about to go bust, due to cheating, and I'm heartbroken and just sick of it all. My husband of 14 years, together for 21 years, cheated....two kids, just cheats, and now feels remorse. I put my heart out there, vulnerable, only to have it happen again. HTH, can one person screw up so many things....meaning how can I screw it all up. Meh.
But I have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy with the woman I'm seeing. Actually, out of courtesy to each other, we agreed to let each other know if we begin dating someone else, just to keep the other informed, in the loop.
Maybe others will be of more help.
I'm on here to find answers to that question too. After my ex's affair, I learned to let go of the feeling I failed them somehow in the love department. A cheater will be a cheater often, no matter how great a partner we are.
Take care
Tortoise
JUST LET'S ME KNOW....I DON'T KNOW EITHER............
WHEN YOU FIND OUT LET ME BE THE FIRST TO KNOW.
I don't know why we pick the partners we do, either. I have several great examples of couples who make it work. My parents are my greatest influence.
They have had their ups and downs and today , at my grandmother's funeral, I could see the couples who leaned on one another.
I don't know why I pick ones who are so emotionally unavailable. My Ex has always been so disconnected... I don't know why I chose him.
Why would someone just go out and cheat. when they have someone so ready to be with them?
All relationships have their ups and downs but when they affect your life such as in morals,trust and respect in negative ways you have decisions and choices to make in regards to moving on or trying to work it out. If you choose to try and work things out it takes 100% from both people and that to me is proven by actions and compromises that both can feel comfortable with.
As you know everyone is accountable for their own actions. I am very sorry that your husband betrayed you but it is NOT your fault. He had the opportunity to express his concerns and feelings if he was not happy. Everyone makes mistakes in life but I do not consider cheating a mistake as to me it is point blank betrayal and disrespect to your partner. Anyway that is why I stress just how important it is in knowing what your boundaries and morals are.
It doesn't mean that will never get cheated on again or disrespected but it does mean that you do not have to settle for anything less then you deserve in this life. Life throws us curve balls all the time you never know what will happen in the future and you can only deal with it as it comes. Kind of like a card game in a way. Just remember no matter how many bad hands you get dealt you always have the trump card in not settling for the jokers if that makes sense to you.
At least that is how I look at things. In any aspect your question, what a healthy relationship is can only be answered by you. Everyone has their own thoughts and opinions on what they feel a healthy relationship is but that does not mean someone Else's way of thinking is the right thing for yourself. Most people are in agreement about the basics of a healthy relationship such as respect, honesty, trustworthy and so on the important thing is that you stick to those things and whatever else you feel is important in life. Hopefully this helps a bit for you and I sincerely hope that much happier days find their way to you very soon. Wishing you the very best:)
They both share similar morals. They're both honest and hard-working.
They almost ended it about 15 years ago due to my dad's suspecting my mom's infidelity, when my mom took a liking to Scientology and one of the men involved (!), whereas my dad's a staunch Catholic to the end, but the charges ended up being groundless.