Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Hi Everyone,
Christmas day came, and my boyfriend said he would text me upon dropping off his daughter (which would give me a heads up about when he would be arriving). So with a ton of things to do, I planned my time around this as I figured I would have about an hour to get here after that, thinking he had to go home first etc. Well, he texted first when 10 mins away, then again 2 mins, and I was "yikes, I'm still in my pajamas, no make up." etc. I was getting stuff done, but just not ready for him yet. But told him he could still come over, I just would have stuff to do while he was here. Well, he turned around and went back to the town where he dropped off his daughter (1/2 hr away), which wasn't necessary, however, wanted to give me more time. He said he would stop by a friend's quickly, and we agreed that he would come by after that. Hours roll by and I didn't hear anything. Then I texted, and a little later called and no answer, a few more texts and calls (still no answer) to let him know dinner would be ready soon and my daughter would be home soon...but nothing. Didn't hear from him for the rest of the day at all. Spent Christmas day without him.
The next morning he texts saying he got drunk (he doesn't drink much) at his friend's, and drove home at 4am after waking up and so on, and in another text apologized. He's never done anything like this before and is usually a responsible person (works hard and is very driven etc), but I think it's a pretty big deal to miss your Christmas with your significant other. I haven't talked to him since. The only thing I feel he has going for him here is that he tried to come over initially and gave me more time. Otherwise, I think it's pretty crappy and haven't wanted much to do with him. Could any of you get over something like this? Is this something you get over?
Anyway, I hate to put this in your head, but how is his relationship with his ex (you said he dropped off his daughter) Im just guessing he was dropping her with her mom. Do you think they have something going on? I can't imagine any other reason for not answering a phone call or text. Especially on Christmas, and on top of that when he was expected to be coming over.
He has said a few times that the holidays are hard for him, although I'm not sure why. But like you, the holidays remind me of loved ones I wish were here too. So, they're hard on me as well. And yes, life is too short. I'm actually glad the holidays are passed now, as it wasn't good for us Christmas or New Years. So, we'll see how things go from here. Thanks a bunch for your feedback, and all the best in the New Year.
Every holidays reminds me of my broken family and what could have been. I m dating someone with kids and his divorce is recent and his suffering and depression are so raw comparing to mine.
He was a mess.
To me it sounds like this is what was happening to your bf.... he likely just wanted to be with someone.. you weren't available that moment so he chose he next best thing and nobody really wants to talk about how much it hurts. It just makes it worse.
I could be wrong, but if his behavior is out of character, then it sounds like he was feeling some emotions that day.