Hi everyone,

So I've been seeing this guy kind of off and on for the past like 6 weeks. We met on OK Cupid and he asked me out for drinks, we have so many things in common and had a wonderful time talking for hours. Our second date we went hiking, basically spent the whole day together, kissed and had amazing chemistry. At that point I will admit to investing emotionally as I felt like I really had gotten to know him on a very deep level, although now of course I see that's ridiculous after only knowing him that short amount of time. Anyway, the next date we just hung out at his house and listened to music. Eventually that led to sex, which was mutual. It was a little awkward, but he seemed normal afterwards, we chatted and joked, he said we should do it again very soon when we could spend more time and do a sleepover. He suggested Thursday or maybe the weekend. We texted a couple times over the next few days and everything seemed fine, though I came to realize later that I was the one initiating the texts. When I checked in with him on Thursday he didn't mention hanging out. I was starting to get a weird feeling that he was freaking out and backing off. When I asked him about weekend plans on Friday, he said let's do Saturday night and I agreed. Saturday came, hadn't heard from him, so I asked him what time we were meeting. He told me he had to cancel, he wasn't feeling well, he'd "be in touch." That sounded super dismissive. I sat on it for a bit, but I really didn't want to wait around when it definitely sounded like the subtext was "I freaked out and lost interest because things moved too fast, and now I don't want to ever hang out with you again." I just wanted to know so I could move on, so I just told him he could tell me if he doesn't want to hang out anymore, if things moved too fast, I was honestly just enjoying getting to know him as a person, no pressure. He said yeah, he did think it moved a little fast, but that wasn't why he canceled, he just wouldn't have been good company that night. OK, cool.

So I left it there, and I didn't hear from him again at all for almost 2 weeks. By that point of course I had written him off completely and moved on, despite the fact that he's the only guy I've felt that strongly about in a really long time and I know we had a very unique and powerful connection, even though he did turn out to be emotionally unavailable and flaky. Every guy I met after that was a huge disappointment that reminded me how much I still liked him. Anyway, so out of the blue he texts me all cheerful and chatty, "hey, what's up? How have you been?" I was too curious not to respond to him, but I kept it cool and casual. He apologized for his disappearance, said a lot had been happening in his life and he's "a little bit crazy and doesn't always know what he wants", but he wasn't trying to send the message he didn't want to hang out. He really enjoys my company. He suggested meeting up and buying me a drink, but we ended up meeting for a walk instead. It was nice...we had a good conversation and he told me he had been wanting to pursue a relationship with me, but then it did move too fast, which he saw as his own doing. I asked if it was just a conversation to clear the air and he said no, he wants us to hang out and get to know each other more slowly, see where it goes. Maybe go camping together (?!). I agreed, which basically seemed to be agreeing to friendzone it. 

I was going out of town the next day and he said he'd text me during my trip, which he actually did. Just occasional casual chats. Then I didn't hear from him for another week. I had basically decided to leave the ball entirely in his court and see how he proceeds. Finally on Sunday another cheery casual text about the weather, how was my trip, hey, we should hang out soon! I said ok, but he didn't suggest a time. Then yesterday he told me he'd moved into a new place and I should come out to see it. Curious again (it sounded a bit like a hookup invitation, which I had no intention of doing but didn't feel in danger or anything), I went. We had a very nice time once again, and he didn't make any moves. Quite the opposite, though the chemistry is still there, he went out of his way to be very gentlemanly in his behavior and was very careful not to hug me too closely. But then he said he'd love to come see my place as well, and we should definitely hang out again soon. I guess my question is about the friendzone. I'm fine being friends with guys, but in my experience they usually have a larger agenda. I thought maybe he wanted FWB, but now it doesn't look that way. But nor does it seem like he wants to pursue a relationship, at least not right now. The suggestions of camping together, wanting me to be the first one to see his place, wanting to come to my place, that all sounds very intimate. But I don't want to read into anything and catch feelings again. There is sexual tension which I enjoy, but for now I could take it or leave it. I think there could be real potential with this guy, though. He really is unique and amazing in many ways. How should I play this?