Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Okay I'm going to you to join my pity party if only for a moment. today is my birthday my husband is out of town he didn't even call me to wish me a happy birthday. when I texted him and ask him why he forgot my birthday he got very nasty and ran on and on telling me what a horrible person I was and how self-centered I was. I mean it's my birthday I am allowed to think about myself at least today right? he says there's nothing left of us blah blah blah he does this all the time it's getting old. and yet I was hoping he would call me and say something nice since it is my birthday but I was disappointed yet again. he has a lot of emotional issues a ton of baggage that he refuses to let go of drags it around until it weighs him down and he blames everyone around him for how heavy it is yes he is the one who won't let it go. he self-destructive if anything is going well he will destroy it or find fault with it or push people away including me I'm just sad on my birthday at the moment I needed to put it in words. okay pity party over...
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
He was just down right mean!
Happy Birthday to you! From me!
Big Hugs to you!
Don't take it personally. He is just being him and if the "Him" isn't a kind, compassionate giving person, what can you do?
He probably didn't take the confrontation well, when you texted him and said.. "Why did you forget my Birthday" The fight was on!!
Only kind people can validate our feelings. A kind person would have said.. "I'm so sorry you are feeling sad that I forgot your birthday" A kind person will not shove our anger or feelings back down our throat. They validate, because they are strong and they know to let the other person have feelings it doesn't diminish them in any way....
He doesn't sound like a safe person to trust with your emotions. So in the future I would look to someone else for "emotional comfort" How is he on providing other needs? Financially, chores around the house etc?? Do you have children?
I love your comment OTM! ha!
Birthdays can be a tough day for many, I know I used to always feel down around that time. You needed some warmth from him on your special day and all you got was vitriol instead.
Like ShastaSue said, perhaps you need to reach out to those who you know will give you a warm hug when you need it instead of a punch in the stomach.
I'm curious to hear your answers to Sue's questions, does he do any of the other things she asks? He doesn't sound like much of a partner, and if you've been subjected to this for a long time, it's no wonder you're feeling down on your birthday.
You need to surround yourself with kind empathic people, not a surly old bear like him. You may also need to think about your future, because the older we get, the harder it becomes to tolerate, and the surlier the bear becomes.
I wish you well on your birthday, and may you experience joy and happiness throughout the year.
Yikes!!!
You deserve a whole lot more than this asshole. I don't know if you can divorce, but you should.
If you can't figure him out now let me help. HE is a jackass!!! Will never change. You're 50 like me, save yourself now so you can live the rest of your life in peace.
I'm sorry he crapped on your birthday.
Happy Birthday!