Healthy Relationships Support Group
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A buddy of mine whom I haven't spoken to in over a year after our rather heated discussion on the phone has this condition. Our argument had to do with how awful he was treating his girlfriend who is working two jobs to support them both and pay for his meds (he doesn't work or do anything except sulk around her townhouse miserably).
I miss his passion for history and historical filmmaking, and would like to try to rekindle a friendship if it's possible, but I have a problem with his secrecy about his condition (and God knows what else), which, when called on it, blaming me and everyone else instead of owning up to it. I'm not perfect, he's not perfect, no one's perfect; what's the big deal about talking about his condition? He was sort of a second brother to me. My biological brother passed away of cancer, and this "brother from another mother" has bipolar and is a robot who is not in touch with his tender emotions at all. Is this a relationship worth trying to salvage?
I miss his passion for history and historical filmmaking, and would like to try to rekindle a friendship if it's possible, but I have a problem with his secrecy about his condition (and God knows what else), which, when called on it, blaming me and everyone else instead of owning up to it. I'm not perfect, he's not perfect, no one's perfect; what's the big deal about talking about his condition? He was sort of a second brother to me. My biological brother passed away of cancer, and this "brother from another mother" has bipolar and is a robot who is not in touch with his tender emotions at all. Is this a relationship worth trying to salvage?
He was always sort of Mr. Spock, into his own dark, little emotionless world, very reserved, never said a word in social situations, which was very mysterious to me, and kinda touched a dark part of myself that fueled creativity to tell stories and make films. We (or I should say I, since his interest waned very quickly on any given project) made a few cool little mini-epics. Now I've downsized my dreams, gotten more practical and demand a bit more substance from my relationships. He clearly hasn't moved on from childhood, and never will. Sad. We knew each other (or I thought I knew him) for 16 years. We were brothers who enjoyed a great, albeit dark, comfort zone.
There a DS support group right here specifically for Bipolar Disorder. Some are those that suffer from it; others are there because they have a loved one with it and are trying to figure out how to cope. Maybe you can post your question there also and see if you get constructive comments.
I wonder if he is not responding to you b/c he is in denial. Or maybe he feels like it's no one's business. I don't know from your post whether he's in any kind of treatment but I wonder if face to face communication when he is not hitting a high or manic depressive might work. Tough to know when they are in the middle! Good luck. He's lucky to have such a great and caring friend.
everything in your post is the classic bp[er] who isnt on meds and taking care of them selves and letting their illness run them and not them owning their illness..
its best to just cut your losses, he wont change unless he wants too..
I pretty much have cut my losses (or he cut his losses with me, probably to spare me from the brunt of his temper). Sad. I'm moving on.