Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Hi guys I am not new to break ups but this one is a special case. You see in the past I'm always the one whose always chasing my exes for their attention and feeling like they may be seeing someone else on the side.
This freshly broken up relationship however is quite the opposite, my ex was the type to constantly accuse me of cheating over any small minute details. Yes I told a couple of white lies just to get away from her incessant accusations and put downs but nothing too serious to warrant a cheating accusation.
Long story short she decided to end it a few days ago on the assumption that i was going to cheat as I decided to go out on a whim with my friends to the club for some harmless fun. What the flying hell right? FYI, i did invite her to come out with me that night but she declined. And prior to that we did spend 2 good days hanging out together.
I've never experienced being with a possessive woman before and I have done all I can, including cutting down or stopping activities that she deems unsavoury. Throughout the entire relationship she did treat me lovingly and looked out for my well being but she was also very difficult to be around. I would have to be constantly reporting in my whereabouts and I was repeatedly questioned. I have no qualms about telling her what i am doing and where I am, but there is this underlying tone to the way she questions which made me feel interrogated rather then showing pure concern.
Now that she has ended things, there is a slight relief for me but I don't know why I feel so bored and uninspired like the things I used to like doing no longer interests me. Has she beaten me down so much that my former activities no longer bring me the same joy? I do miss her. I don't if this is some kinda weird stockholm syndrome I have.
Advice? Thank you for reading.
This freshly broken up relationship however is quite the opposite, my ex was the type to constantly accuse me of cheating over any small minute details. Yes I told a couple of white lies just to get away from her incessant accusations and put downs but nothing too serious to warrant a cheating accusation.
Long story short she decided to end it a few days ago on the assumption that i was going to cheat as I decided to go out on a whim with my friends to the club for some harmless fun. What the flying hell right? FYI, i did invite her to come out with me that night but she declined. And prior to that we did spend 2 good days hanging out together.
I've never experienced being with a possessive woman before and I have done all I can, including cutting down or stopping activities that she deems unsavoury. Throughout the entire relationship she did treat me lovingly and looked out for my well being but she was also very difficult to be around. I would have to be constantly reporting in my whereabouts and I was repeatedly questioned. I have no qualms about telling her what i am doing and where I am, but there is this underlying tone to the way she questions which made me feel interrogated rather then showing pure concern.
Now that she has ended things, there is a slight relief for me but I don't know why I feel so bored and uninspired like the things I used to like doing no longer interests me. Has she beaten me down so much that my former activities no longer bring me the same joy? I do miss her. I don't if this is some kinda weird stockholm syndrome I have.
Advice? Thank you for reading.
It is never fun to break up with people with whom we envision the rest of our lives. It is a loss in a big way and every time you must re-learn to be alone again. Even if the person we are with makes us unhappy it is still nice to come home and someone is there.
It is probably you are missing the comfort of being with another person, not the bullshit she put you through..
I take break ups incredibly hard and get physically ill because of them.
Literally cant function for months even when i know i made the right decision to leave. It is just difficult for most people.
I hope things get better. Try to spend more time with friends if you can.
Thank you so so much for remembering my other posts! I feel rather touched that you remembered! :) I'm forcing myself to do the things I used to enjoy doing prior to meeting her. In a strange way I do feel freer and relieved that I no longer have to be interrogated or 'report' in.
Funny thing is I've had a string of really bad romances and my friends have been telling me that I am quite the catch. I don't know if they are just being bias and kind to me. In any case aside from my few little vices, I do smoke and drink socially and I do have tattoos, I reckon I am quite easy going. I wonder why i keep getting involved with the wrong girls.
I guess i am going to enjoy single hood for a long time, I am rather disappointed because I thought I did something right by going out with a 'proper' girl (double degrees, very good financial career). I guess there isn't a 'proper' girl but the right girl.
That said, I think youre unhappy NOW because its still a battle lost. I would imagine youre grieving over the fact that you WANTED it to work, and (espite your best efforts) thr relationship still suffered, moreso than grieving over the relationships ending itself.
You will get that passion for life back. You just have to give it some time and be patient with yourself. This is still a big change and all of your routines will be different.
Best of luck.
If your relationship was really something unforgetable it is possible that there is still a chance to work things out. It wasnt good the way it was, maybe after some time you will be able to re-establish trust and certain biundaries that were lost. If not, then you will meet someone else and all will be well.
Ok I am so glad I found lovely listening ears such as you and aronia here on DailyStrength. Yeah I guess all i need is time and some kind words to get through. I am so very thankful for your words of encouragement!
You're right tho i guess the disappoint I am feeling now is that I still wanted to make it work. I just get so angry every time she accuses me of wrong doings which never happened.
I highly doubt there is a chance of her ever coming back, it feels very final, she probably chooses to believe that I did attempt to cheat to make herself feel better for leaving me. I'm just feeling so angry that I have been charged with a crime i did not commit. I guess this is also one of the things I eventually have to let go in order to move on.