I'm no one to help you since I'm in a crappy place right now... but you just described my kind of guy! So if you find him, please ask if he has a brother for me :p
I'd add to the list: a guy who would talk about WWII for hours... That reminded me a movie about nazi zombies....
I'll follow your post in case someone offers a more useful answer than mine.

If you make an effort to find what you want , you will find it.
I believe that to have a person who is such a close fit to who you are , you have to go through trial and error and sometimes it takes time..
I have exactly what I wanted but it was a hell of a road to get to this point - lots of struggle and problems, but it doesn't have to be this way..
Leather is a good example for you. Hope she chimes it :1)

The guidelines, rules and answers are within you. You first need to know what you want in a partner, what you want in a relationship, set personal boundaries for yourself and stick to them. Do not let your boundaries be crossed and do not tolerate anything that is unacceptable, do not accept being mistreated, do not accept any form of abuse, do not accept being disrespected, do not ignore an red flags that might be there. Know that you deserve to be treated with love and respect at ALL times and don't settle for less.

You just recently left a very abusive relationship where there was a lot emotional, verbal and physical abuse. You were with him a few years and he had you knocked so far down you kept excusing his abusive behavior including blaming yourself for his abuse. There is never, ever an excuse for any form of abuse!

You said in a previous post a while back that you always went out with guys that treated you horribly. IMO, before looking for a partner you need to first heal from the abuse, work on you to build yourself up again, build up your self-esteem, your self-respect, learn to love yourself, make boundaries for yourself and stick to them. Once you do that then you will no longer tolerate what isn't acceptable, you won't settle and you'll be able to find the kind of partner you want.

It's up to you to end the cycle of abuse and unhealthy relationships in your life and you took a huge step in doing that by leaving your abuser. Your friends here who have been following your story are very proud of you, you're strong and you have the strength in you to find what you want and no longer put up with someone who does not treat you very well and with 100% respect at all times.

Good Advice Leather.

I too would like to find a guy but it is really hard. Especially since I do not drink and I am vegan.

I gave up on the dating sites.

You're very right Leather, I do need to learn to love myself and I have been making progress in bettering my life. Leaving HIM was just the first step to my recovery.... Since then ive tried going out into the work force again and have even made contact with a lot of my old friends.

After explaining what has happend to me a few told me I should have left sooner and even though I still miss him I know that they are right.I have NOT contacted him since I left and although I know that its a good thing I still miss him a lot.

Last weekend I went with my cousin to get my first tattoo. I wanted something small yet meaningful to me so I got " Equivalent Exchange" just to remind myself that I shouldnt give my all to someone who cares so little.....

I have thought long and hard about what I want out of a man. I will not accept anymore metal, or physical abuse. I dont deserve it and I will no longer accept it. I am worthy of better.

I do miss having a boyfriend though and I do want to try hard to get back in the dating world. Im just unsure how...

Life will unfold, we are making decisions.