Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I have a friend who has been dating a guy who cheated on her multiple times, lied and said he had cancer (she is a cancer survivor) to win her sympathy, gave her HPV, stopped talking to her and her seven year old son off and on and finally went and had a child with another women. He basically was no where around when she was down and now she is back with him now that she is working and doing better. She is even taking care of this child eventhough his childs mother asked him not to bring him around her.
So to the question. I told her that I was sick of her running back to him and expecting me to always hear how her bad decisions are ruining her life. I don't mind being a supportive friend and I told her I would never judge her but I can not deal with her blindness to this. In all honesty if she wants to marry him than good for her, but I just don't feel like hearing about the countless things he has repeatedly done to you. Was I wrong for saying something?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
So as for your friend I personally think you did the right thing. Next time she asks why you said what you said just tell her, hey you love him and whatever he does to you that's on you as you know the type of guy he is and what he's put/putting you through. Life is way too short to allow someone to keep mistreating you.
How can we say that " I care about and value this lady" and say that these things are okay.... I find it stressful in my circumstance and I will be kicked to the curb long before this jerk is
I'm discussing my circumstance as comparable to yours.... I hope you don't mind
This is after him screwing around on her multiple times and even right in front of her face.... I find it very disturbing and frankly sad that she doesn't know she deserves so much more and value herself... I think if these women treated themselves with dignity they would fair so much better.....sigh
I think you have to take care of you.... Big hug.....xo
It is very common for codependents to end up with these type of guys and very common for the abuser to lure the victim back in again and again. These relationships are very difficult to get away from. Your friend probably needs therapy to deal with the trauma she's endured from this guy. What she has now with him is called a "trauma bond".
I don't think you are wrong for speaking up. But there are usually a lot of friends/family telling women to get away from these kind of men for years and the manipulations from the abuser make it really difficult. I hope she's able to break away.
I run the victim of psychopaths group on DS. She's welcome to join and share her story and read others much like her own.
Frankly, while it's obvious he's a terrible person, that's kind of secondary, because while he is a problem, he's not THE problem. The problem is her, because she allows this and doesn't respect herself or expect better for herself. Besides that, she's a mother herself. She can damage herself all she wants with this a-hole, but it's wrong to have your own child be a part of this nonsense. My compassion for her can only go so far because of that.
You absolutely did the right thing by telling her you will not listen to this anymore.