Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I am new to the dating scene after a divorce and many years of marriage. I have been dating a man for the past 2 1/2 mo. It is going really well, we have a great time together, have the same interests and desire for a ltr, although we have not spoken specifically about that with each other, yet.
My diemma is this: We are not seeing each other today due to child care issues on both sides. I was fine with that, you do what you have to when you have children. We spoke about "celebrating" vd perhaps some time this week. I received a very short Happy VD on the phone last night- which sounded almost hesitant. This morning we spoke, but vd was not discussed. After our call I decided to send him an e-card. Very careful in my selection, simply stating I enjoy our time together. The card was delivered and now nothing. No phone call, no email or text response? So now I am wondering what he is thinking and why he has not even acknowledged the card. Did I go too far in sending a card in this point of our relationship? Perhaps he does not feel the same way that I feel about him? Although his actions when we are together indicates that he does. I have been very careful in not rushing things, taking it slow and one step at a time, never being presumptious. I am very confused and a bit hurt with the silence. I know that if I received a card, I would have responded right away, but that's me and I know that guys are sometimes polar opposites when it comes to emotions.
Am I really expecting too much? I appreciate some insight.
Thanks for your time.
My diemma is this: We are not seeing each other today due to child care issues on both sides. I was fine with that, you do what you have to when you have children. We spoke about "celebrating" vd perhaps some time this week. I received a very short Happy VD on the phone last night- which sounded almost hesitant. This morning we spoke, but vd was not discussed. After our call I decided to send him an e-card. Very careful in my selection, simply stating I enjoy our time together. The card was delivered and now nothing. No phone call, no email or text response? So now I am wondering what he is thinking and why he has not even acknowledged the card. Did I go too far in sending a card in this point of our relationship? Perhaps he does not feel the same way that I feel about him? Although his actions when we are together indicates that he does. I have been very careful in not rushing things, taking it slow and one step at a time, never being presumptious. I am very confused and a bit hurt with the silence. I know that if I received a card, I would have responded right away, but that's me and I know that guys are sometimes polar opposites when it comes to emotions.
Am I really expecting too much? I appreciate some insight.
Thanks for your time.
Everyone is different and I think before you start worrying why not just focus more on getting to know him better at a slower pace. I think if you give it some time all the questions you are asking now will be answered. You should also involve yourself in other activities as you are getting to know him so you are not constantly worrying that you are doing wrong things because you should feel comfortable with who you are and if he likes you and wants to get more serious he will let you know:) Best wishes to you:)
I don't think you are expecting too much, I just think you are scared and that is natural. I wonder if you want confirmation from him and the silence is hard. I was married 17 years and worried about the same things you describe below when I first started to date again. I don't think it is a guy / girl thing, it is just a thing.
I have found no easy way to avoid how you are feeling, but there are things that you can do to make it better. Posting your question here is a great start. Developing a friendship first makes it easier because expectations are not as strong.
Hang in there.
It's true, some of us men draw an emotional blank at times. Valentine's Day does have a sort of enforced romanticism about it, and some of us are just not into all the sappy stuff. You don't want your man to become angry or apathetic, so keep it light, fluffy and funny.
Contrary to popular belief, the way to a man's heart is, in addition to his stomach and another part of his anatomy, his funny bone!
To date his communication continues to wane. He used to call several times a day, now it is down to once a day, if that. I of course have called him, but cannot help but wonder why the sudden change. He is under pressure with his job, suffered a salary cut due to company budget cuts. Not sure if I should chalk it up to that or take it as a sign that it is something else. Even when I see him or talk he is not the same person that I first met, almost seems to have a depressive attitude. I am contemplating talking to him about the sudden change, then think I should just waiting to see if things improve. Thoughts? Thanks.....