Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Am I being too Jealous?

MSM24
MSM24
Hello. I have with in the last month been dating this guy. I know it's not very long but a month ago when we got together he told me he would slow down on the going out and drinking. My main concern is that he goes out and gets so stone drunk to the point that he has no clue what he has done. This concerns me on so many levels. I am concerned about his health and about him getting drunk and doing something crazy with some other woman. (Note that a week before we were officially together he had a drunk episode and he made out with some random chick and didn't remember until friends showed him some pictures.)


He claims that I am just too jealous. Am I being jealous by not wanting him to go out and get drunk like that? I just don't know what to do.
deleted_user
deleted_user
From what you have posted about your b/f it sounds like to me he has a drinking problem. If that is the case he needs to realize he has a problem with his drinking and start taking steps to get help. Only he can do that. My guess he is using your complaints about him to pass off as jealously.

I guess if it were me I would let him know the effect of his drinking too much not just to you but to others around him as well as himself. If he can't control it, time will show it will effect his health and emotions. He may even hurt himself or someone else in the process. Passing out or even not remembering what you did when you were drinking too much more then once is not normal and certainly shows the signs or headed on the road to becoming an alcoholic.

Bottom line he will have to step up to the plate and first admit he has a problem just make sure you do not follow the same road of destruction he is headed for. Let him know how you feel and see what he does. If he chooses to continue this road sometimes it is better to take a different road for yourself. Hoping things work out for the best:)
deleted_user
deleted_user
You could join al-anon...

It's a support group for loved ones of alcoholics.

That is...if you decided to stick with him. You would be well within your rights to walk away right now...
MSM24
MSM24
Thank you. I have talked to him. IDK what I am going to do. I want to be supportive but he doesn't see it as a problem... I have mentioned it several times and he just gets quiet doesn't really say much just that he understands why I am concerned. What concerns me most is he has diabetes and this is not taking care of himself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hey MSM, Since you just met this guy I'd strongly suggest protecting yourself and discontinue dating him. You could still be his friend and suggest he find help but don't get yourself tangled up in his Web.

If you go this route you also won't have to worry about him cheating on you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
tell him this if he does not get the picture after a while:


"no I am not jealous I just REALLY feel like not getting an STD !!! You selfish prick! "
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have dated many alcoholics in my time. And, your best bet is to get out now! Especially if he doesn't believe he has a problem- they don't change! But, being drunk is no excuse for cheating- i hate when people use that as an excuse. No your not being jealous, and you have a right to be upset. It is so much nicer to be with someone who is sober most of the time. Do you really want a guy who is going to take off in the middle of the night and leave you to go to some bar.
LKess
LKess
You cannot change anyone, you can only change yourself. So unless he is wiling to change his own behavior, the only thing you can do is bring your concerns to his attention and let him make up his own mind about his life. I would bring more attention to the hazards of drinking than the possibility of womanizing. Good luck to you!