Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
We fough again. It was about my best friend and going on a day drive and how he feels like he is on the back burner. I hear him but I dont know how to help him feel worthy. He has low self esteem and has been cheated on so many times. Its like he is waiting for the other shoe to drop. I just dont understand it. He says I can have friends but when I get friends he flips out and says Im not spending enough "quality time" with him and that everyone else gets my attention. And that they are just gonna let me down. NO! You dont want me to have friends because you feel everyone lets you down. Where does that come from? Your moms past actions?? Your ex girlfriends?? Dont you realize the people cheating is more about them than the worth of you! You are my world and I think spending time with you at all IS QUALITY TIME, because I get to be with you!!!! You dont feel that way! I do not understand it. You smoke cigarettes and though I cant stand the smell or the taste its something you like and I deal with it. So why cant you do that with my hookah?? I know that you dont like the smell and it can give you a headache, but its the same things I deal with and I dont complain. Its better that I smoke hookah than weed or meth, or become an alcoholic right?? All of those things could be possible because of my biological family! I was predispositioned with an addictive personality. So I think that being addicted to hookah is better than many other options.
Okay I am done with the rant..
Anyone have any insight?? I could sure use it!
-
Which explains the mysterious fevers and my extra fatigue. I'm so glad I pushed for answers.
-
Due to my increased paranoia, anxiety, and a panic attack over the weekend, my psychiatrist has put me back in a full dose of Zyprexa until further notice. Every time I think I'm getting ahead something happens and it's back to square one. I knew he was gonna do this but I can't help feeling disappointed. It is what it is.
but if that's not working, you should be asking him: what is it you need from me? and tell him what you need from him. make time to talk about everything. keep asking: hey baby, how are you? how is your heart? pretty much read beyond the words. "you ok? i'm fine." you don't stop and walk away. watch the body language. if he seems upset, sit and say, well you don't seem okay. what's going on? watch out for projecting attitude and such. be sure to lay down your defenses. don't be actively thinking while you listen. shut off your brain and listen. when it's yoru turn, take a pause and respond in a very neutral way.
otherwise, i do not see this working if you two don't work TOGETHER.