We fough again. It was about my best friend and going on a day drive and how he feels like he is on the back burner. I hear him but I dont know how to help him feel worthy. He has low self esteem and has been cheated on so many times. Its like he is waiting for the other shoe to drop. I just dont understand it. He says I can have friends but when I get friends he flips out and says Im not spending enough "quality time" with him and that everyone else gets my attention. And that they are just gonna let me down. NO! You dont want me to have friends because you feel everyone lets you down. Where does that come from? Your moms past actions?? Your ex girlfriends?? Dont you realize the people cheating is more about them than the worth of you! You are my world and I think spending time with you at all IS QUALITY TIME, because I get to be with you!!!! You dont feel that way! I do not understand it. You smoke cigarettes and though I cant stand the smell or the taste its something you like and I deal with it. So why cant you do that with my hookah?? I know that you dont like the smell and it can give you a headache, but its the same things I deal with and I dont complain. Its better that I smoke hookah than weed or meth, or become an alcoholic right?? All of those things could be possible because of my biological family! I was predispositioned with an addictive personality. So I think that being addicted to hookah is better than many other options.
Okay I am done with the rant..
Anyone have any insight?? I could sure use it!
Hey All.... How is everyone doing? and what are you doing during these strange times??We had a little social distance birthday visit with a friend yesterday..... We were several feet apart but enjoyed a nice visit and cakeI find that I am much more tired so I'm guessing it's stress.... I had a phone appt with my pdoc last week and that's how he's 'seeing' most patients now he said that...
A week and a half in treatment and this morning I'm telling myself it's a dream. I'm here with my kiddo telling myself that over and over again just to be present. That's a dream. All of it. The need for treatment and the things we are processing or not processing. Things just linger in the air and I feel like I need it to rain just so everything will settle.