I do believe in absolute purity. Change doesn't make it less pure, it just means it evolves.. For every person I have ever truelly loved in my life, I still love to this day. The love evolved into a friendship and chances are that we were more fooling ourselves into thinking it was a different kind of love then the love ever changing. For all the people I've ever truelly loved I would cry tomorrow if they passed away. I do still believe in pure love... What is hard to believe is that many people are capable of seeing love for what it truelly is.. Be it friendship or lovers love.

I do believe in unconditional love always have. I hope you are able to believe in all of that again.

I do believe and live with the love of a parent to a child. My youngest son(who will be 19 in a couple of months) and I have a very true, deep, mature, pure love for one another. I do love my other 2 children, but he and I have a special bond. Moreover, I believe that 2 people have to be mature to love one another and care for one another in a healthy way. Otherwise it is not pure and true.

So...when it comes to romance, however...

Are we brainwashed by jewelry commercials, remembering anniversaries and the like, to believe that we continually have to "buy" affection and sex? Sounds conditional rather than the unconditional love of a parent to a child.

Romantic love is the notion that I'm really struggling with here...these boards frequently only add more confusion than clarity...

The commercials are only stores trying to make money.. Love is not conditional on gift giving. It's the giving you do from the heart that matters where true love is involved; in my opinion you can't have true love without giving of yourself (monetary things are just things).. Yes we as women do love gifts and jewelry gifts even better; but it's what comes from the heart that matters the most. Romance doesn't have to cost a penny. Love doesn't have to cost a penny.

If someone isn't truelly in love then an anniversary forgoten would be a big deal.. but for those in true love it's just a day of the year because the love is shown everyday of the year.. At least that's my view on it.. But I do believe in true love, unconditional love, and pure love. I've been burned many many times but I don't let what someone else does sour or deter me. I can't control them; I can only control myself.. :)

Aww...sweet...thanks...you're restoring my faith.

I think there is a big difference between absolute purity and absolute truth, and it confuses me that your initial post seems to use the words interchangeably.

I can have impure thoughts and feelings and still be truthful about them.

as far as #3 goes... of course commercial rhetoric wants to bastardize the purity of romance... otherwise theres no money to be made on it. As for 'are we brainwashed...?' well... I think that can only be effectively answered if its effectively asked... "are you brainwashed...?" no, I'm not. Are you? Many may be.

But to get to what I think the original question might have been... Is there such a thing a absolute truth in a relationship? I do believe there is such a thing (a possibility for) absolute honesty and openness. But I think that truth is not always absolute when you throw the dynamic of people into the mix... which is why when two people tell the same story, each version can be heard as completely different stories depending on the teller and the listeners perspectives. The differences don't imply that either is UNTRUE... but just that the complete and full truth, wherein nothing is left unsaid or unexpressed, is not a reasonable expectation.

But I do believe in absolute honesty, and I have come to realize that since people hide things from themselves and are often self deceived, that all we can rightfully expect of someone in a relationship is that they not be deceptive or willfully withholding. I do believe it is possible (and desireable) to have absolute trust in a relationship... but there is some wiggle room when what you give the person is in the form of trusting the person to be exactly who they are, and to share that with you.

Perhaps its about knowing the boundaries in a relationship. Trust can't be undermined if you know when to not give it. I love my cousin, and have a fine relationship with him... but that doesn't mean that when he tells me a story that I actually believe that the inflated details are FACTUAL... I know him and I love him and I trust him to tell grand stories. Overall, I trust myself, and my instincts in dealing with ANYONE. I don't have to have to justify WHY I limit the trust I have in any situation... I trust my instincts... and those instincts were developed by having been lied to in the past. SO for all those who ever tried to deceive me in the past, I am ever grateful.

Am I brainwashed by commercials? No. But I feel compelled to bend to my lady...am I to believe that gifts are required to keep a lady happy?

Guess that's the answer right there. Shower her with affection and there should be no need for material possessions, although, if I can afford to drop some cash in that direction too, I will, if that's what she wants.

"Impure Thoughts": I assume you mean lust (for others). Well, thinking them and acting on them are two different things. Remember, the grass is never greener, just different.

Are we happy where we are or up for a change? In my case, I'm up for SOME kind of a change, but don't want to change my soul, who I am, which, when it comes to loving a woman, is essentially a soft, sweet, beautiful guy lol...

I think its a matter of having the right lady. Some like gifts... things... trinkets... not so much to keep them happy... but because they believe that by expressing himself this way, he shows that he is thinking of her, cherishing her, and wanting to adorn her with physical evidence. If thats her love language, then he would do well to speak it to her. Thats the key, I guess, that each speak the other persons language... and the more naturally it comes, the less of an effort is necessary.

I personally don't want a man to buy me stuff. I'd rather he bring me home a cool rock that he saw while he was walking through the woods, or a shell he found while fishing... I'll keep a quick note that my husband wrote me on the back of a grocery receipt, and chuck the 4 dollar "hallmark holiday" card in the recycling.

But some women really love to be adorned with longstemmed roses and jewelry... and so long as she connects with a guy who is inclined to shower her with these things... all should be well with the world.