Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Hi everyone, newbie here! Hope you all are safe and keeping healthy.
I've been with my partner a little over a year now and we've had our ups and downs definitely, but we've pulled through, surprisingly for both of us, although this quarantine seems to fade the relationship out... and maybe it's a blessing? He's gone through a lot. A LOT. Childhood wasn't perfect, health isn't perfect and has some mental illnesses. I've looked past it and learned to care about him. He expresses that he cares about me too. But before all this virus outbreak has happened, he told me the worst anyone could say - I never thought anyone would have the nerve to say. "I really like you, like a lot. You have no idea. I don't even know if I want to get married. We have things in common, but not enough that I see myself marrying you." and "Tell me when you're going to get off the pill. Because I probably wouldn't want to have sex anymore". I've never felt so down and so used. Yet after saying those things to me, he would express that he cares and he's taking me seriously. I brokedown.
Now I'm at home quarantining with family and he's in his apartment. Our communication through text is soo slow and inconsistent now and I don't know what to do from here. HELP.
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
I am glad this platform is available to share and be accountable because I know I am not perfect and I have my faults too.
I am guilty of not speaking up, because currently, I feel as if I’m in a toxic relationship. I googled meaning of a toxic relationship and found a site that named 35 ways you can judge if you are in a toxic relationship. However, I can’t say if knowing this made me feel better or worse.
Sending you healing energy. May your heart be at ease.
I'm not trying to be hurtful. But he is telling you that he is pulling away from the relationship. Possibly for good, and you need to prepare yourself for that happening. And, maybe being quarantined right now is for the best, give you two time apart, and maybe when the 2 week quarantine is over, you could get together to talk about things and see if anything has changed on his end.
No, I wouldn't keep texting him. Give him space now. Spend this time with your family, and try to do things that keep your mind off of this. The relationship needs a break. All you can do is have him miss you. If he wants to talk, believe me, he will let you know.
People ask for honesty in relationships. Well he was honest. He likes you, cares about you, but doesn't want to marry you. Would you prefer that he string you along with idle promises of marriage and proclamations of love?
He has told you his position. You get to respond with your position. You can either accept his position or you can reject it.
Again, can someone please explain how this honesty is wrong or toxic.
“Tell me when you're going to get off the pill. Because I probably wouldn't want to have sex anymore" is not a normal thing to say to one’s girlfriend. Honest sure. Shitty, most definitely.
He messaged me a couple of days after the last time we met (before the CA stay-at-home order) and later I admitted I didn't like what he said, and he said, "You're right. I can understand how you feel. I apologize for saying that."...I want to believe it, but I don't know what to do now. I haven't even said anything to him after that.
A little update: As intimidating as it is for me, I've reached out to a professional for help and talk more about this. My partner, he's still around. We talk and he calls to check up on me. His point of view, he knows we're still together and I'm just letting that happen. It's harder with this quarantine, but I'm having a hard time letting go.
Maybe I got attached, maybe I'm confusing lust for deep feelings. I don't know if I'm being harsh to myself, but maybe it's me that's... unstable? :(
It's so hard for me to admit, even just to myself, that I feel lonely and scared. I can't wait for this quarantine to be over and we can slowly but surely go back to "semi-normal".