Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I haven't made very good decisions in the past, so I'd like to make one this time. So, I'm living with a nice man, he gives me back rubs cuz I have back problems, he likes doing things with me, he cooks and cleans and we have fun together, but I pay 3/4 of all the bills which sucks, I didn't want to support another man.
His drinking is a serious problem, we always fight when he drinks, he gets argumentative and it's usually about sex, he and my 14 year old daughter argue, she's mean to him and I want to stop it but he starts yelling back at her and I have to stop him because she's my child and I won't have her defending herself from a grown man, so then the whole lesson is lost.
He's just been arrested for drinking and driving, hit and run, and resisting arrest, it's his third time so he'll be doing some jail time, don't know how much yet.
Last but not least, he's extremely demanding in bed. I have to do everything the way he wants, when he wants or he says I don't love him. He gets really mad and treats me terrible until I give in. I want to enjoy sex and he's good at it but he won't compromise on the issue.
My lease is up in a week, I'm trying to decide if I should try to get into a different apartment here or if I'm being a prude and if I give him up because of these things, then I'm a fool because all men want that.
His drinking is a serious problem, we always fight when he drinks, he gets argumentative and it's usually about sex, he and my 14 year old daughter argue, she's mean to him and I want to stop it but he starts yelling back at her and I have to stop him because she's my child and I won't have her defending herself from a grown man, so then the whole lesson is lost.
He's just been arrested for drinking and driving, hit and run, and resisting arrest, it's his third time so he'll be doing some jail time, don't know how much yet.
Last but not least, he's extremely demanding in bed. I have to do everything the way he wants, when he wants or he says I don't love him. He gets really mad and treats me terrible until I give in. I want to enjoy sex and he's good at it but he won't compromise on the issue.
My lease is up in a week, I'm trying to decide if I should try to get into a different apartment here or if I'm being a prude and if I give him up because of these things, then I'm a fool because all men want that.
His Cons seem more extensive than his Pros in my opinion.
Ask yourself this. Would you want your daughter to have the same kind of boyfriend when the time comes for her to have a boyfriend?
Would you want her to be treated the same way he treats you?
Think about it.
From what you've provided, this is not a positive relationship. You don't sound happy at all.
I'd skip out of that situation the second that lease is up if I were you.
good luck
Um no not all men want that nor do they act like that. This guy is a jerk.
Yes, get a new place and get away from him.
I don't see how a healthy relationship with him in his current state is even remotely possible.
Question: Do you really think staying with him is a good decision for you? How about for your daughter?
Shasta has great question,..and my question is when will love yourself enough to see all the red flags in this connection? Do you deserve to be connected to a man who doesn't respect or love himself?
You'll have the answers to problems like this when you want what's best for yourself. Till then, please consider letting this man go so he can continue on his journey of growth. You've come a long way and you need to keep moving forward in peace, stability and real love.
But...damn.
I feel so sad for you that you'd even consider staying.
I think the person who asked if this is what you'd want for your daughter was on a good track.
Some of the best advice I ever got was...when in doubt..do what you would want your children to do.
It's amazing how much that clarifies.
Good luck.