Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Met a guy at work almost 6 years ago. We ended up being really good friends. He talked to me about things going on in my life and I helped him thru his divorce that was finalized Nov 2011. In the meantime, we gave into the "what ifs" and started a more intimate relationship. It took me 3 years, but I totally fell in love with him. He recently left here about a month and a half ago. When he was here, it was all about "us". We talked and texted constantly and made time for eachother for private matters. Now its like "out of sight, out of mind". I havent seen him for 5 weeks and rarely talk. He gives me vague answers when i text and tell him i miss him like "it will be ok" or when i told him it seemed like we would never see eachother again his reply was "we will get there, dont worry". Get where??? I dont get it. I know his new job is stressful but he has an hour drive home, why cant i have 5 minutes? Am i being selfish?
He also has another woman after him and he swears to me that their time to hang out is nothing like ours. WTH??? To make things worse, his ex-wife just broke up with her fiance and her family is gung ho about getting the two of them together and wants me to jump on board and convince him to get back together. Thats not happening!!!
I have major trust issues and have the patience of a pea. Ive tried to step back and give him space but it only ends up driving me crazy. I wrote him an email last night and told him how i feel. No response yet.
What can i do to keep from going crazy?
He also has another woman after him and he swears to me that their time to hang out is nothing like ours. WTH??? To make things worse, his ex-wife just broke up with her fiance and her family is gung ho about getting the two of them together and wants me to jump on board and convince him to get back together. Thats not happening!!!
I have major trust issues and have the patience of a pea. Ive tried to step back and give him space but it only ends up driving me crazy. I wrote him an email last night and told him how i feel. No response yet.
What can i do to keep from going crazy?
Try to stay busy living your own life - volunteer, exercise, clean, whatever interests you - get more hours at your job, etc. - if he comes around, great, if he doesn't then you have spent all this time doing things that interest you and keep you busy anyway - and do you really want to be with someone who cant make time for you in 5 weeks?
Best of luck.
xoxo
I think im having such a rough time with all of this since he was the one that told me things between us wont change and the last time we were together he was extremely affectionate, put his arm out and wanted me to cuddle with him (which he never did in the past) and told me that "once this all gets straightened out, ill take you on a "real" date". What happened to THAT man? UGH!! Im beginning to think that im not relationship quality and its about time for me to give up on it all and not look back but DEFINITELY dont let anyone else in considering my track record.
However I be noticed a trend sometimes - you get someone through the shitty time of their life and this person gets free and takes off and you don't hear from them much anymore. It is as if you become the symbol of the times that were bad and they want to move on as quickly as possible.