Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I've been a member on DS for almost a year now and I figured I may as well post in this group since it's strongly related to my problem, and the other groups I've joined that are more specifically related to it haven't been very helpful so far. So I figure I should introduce myself here now before diving into the questions I have.
I'm a roughly 30 year old guy (give or take a few years) with a long history of being abused (mostly psychologically/emotionally). How this relates to relationships is that my abusers have been near exclusively female (both in and outside of dating). However, going into much more detail about this aspect of my situation has had a tendency to cause some DS members to become a bit hostile, so I've pretty much given up on trying to discuss that part of it on DS.
After so many years of abuse I ended up finally having a breakdown a few years back in college. I was in an abusive relationship and when it all came crashing down it brought quite a bit of trauma to the surface and I was having a miserable time trying to deal with it on my own. Eventually while seeking any help I could find I came to learn I have a form of PTSD called c-ptsd. It took a while to accept this though, but reading more about it helped explain the painful flashbacks and dissociation I have been experiencing all the time since the breakdown.
Anyways, I know I'm a long ways away from being able to start dating again, and by then this might no longer be an issue, but I am hoping to get advice here that could help me better cope with some hellish dissociative states I deal with daily. Many of these dissociative states involve scenarios (in my head) where I am forced to experience very unpleasant or painful encounters with abusers or people who turn out to be abusers.
I am hoping that learning healthy/positive ways to counter the relationship themed scenarios might help me to reduce some of these dissociative states or at least make them less painful. Or in other words: I'm hoping that if I learn how certain scenarios might play out (in good ways) in healthy relationships I might be able to use that information to pull myself out of these dissociative states by swapping out the bad scenarios with the good ones (if that makes any sense).
I'm a roughly 30 year old guy (give or take a few years) with a long history of being abused (mostly psychologically/emotionally). How this relates to relationships is that my abusers have been near exclusively female (both in and outside of dating). However, going into much more detail about this aspect of my situation has had a tendency to cause some DS members to become a bit hostile, so I've pretty much given up on trying to discuss that part of it on DS.
After so many years of abuse I ended up finally having a breakdown a few years back in college. I was in an abusive relationship and when it all came crashing down it brought quite a bit of trauma to the surface and I was having a miserable time trying to deal with it on my own. Eventually while seeking any help I could find I came to learn I have a form of PTSD called c-ptsd. It took a while to accept this though, but reading more about it helped explain the painful flashbacks and dissociation I have been experiencing all the time since the breakdown.
Anyways, I know I'm a long ways away from being able to start dating again, and by then this might no longer be an issue, but I am hoping to get advice here that could help me better cope with some hellish dissociative states I deal with daily. Many of these dissociative states involve scenarios (in my head) where I am forced to experience very unpleasant or painful encounters with abusers or people who turn out to be abusers.
I am hoping that learning healthy/positive ways to counter the relationship themed scenarios might help me to reduce some of these dissociative states or at least make them less painful. Or in other words: I'm hoping that if I learn how certain scenarios might play out (in good ways) in healthy relationships I might be able to use that information to pull myself out of these dissociative states by swapping out the bad scenarios with the good ones (if that makes any sense).
Sadly, you are not alone. All i can say is - i am sorry for what happened to you and I hope things will get better .
I believe recovery is possible, happiness is reachable.
In my relatively short life I ve been through many, many things but I feel that I was able to overcome trauma and function mostly normally.
I wish you peace and to be in angood place soon.
I too have had past with abuse. I do not have PTSD, but severe depression at time, and suicidal ideation under stress related to relationships.
I hope you can find some healing here, and that you stay positive!