Healthy Relationships Support Group
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So I love my girlfriend to death and we get along on most levels except one. I currently study and work from home and have found myself to more and more isolated from the world. I feel very alone..everyone seems to be getting on with there lives but i feel deeply disconected from everyone . Besides my girlfriend there really isnt much else...and im starting to realize friends come and go...so given my current state of isolation once a week or every 2 weeks i like to go out to a bar , have a drink or two , think about life a little and perhaps have a conversation with someone. I dont see this as abnormal , especially given my situation. So last night i had a beer at home and decided to go out. I met 2 european girls and this other guy and we basically chatted about random things , work , life etc.
I ended up drink more than i would like to but overall is was a nice night. It fealt great just talking others and sharing.
Problem is my girlfriend hates when i do this because she thinks im after other girls and that im bored with her. Besides these outings now and then we do EVERYTHING together. Always at her place or she is at mine. She fights with me everytime about this and im sick of it...I just need more connections and talk to some people!! Is this so wrong??? Why am I made to feel guity because i had a nice conversation , danced a little and had some fun.
I dont know what to do ..I love my girlfriend to death but her insecurity is just to much
I ended up drink more than i would like to but overall is was a nice night. It fealt great just talking others and sharing.
Problem is my girlfriend hates when i do this because she thinks im after other girls and that im bored with her. Besides these outings now and then we do EVERYTHING together. Always at her place or she is at mine. She fights with me everytime about this and im sick of it...I just need more connections and talk to some people!! Is this so wrong??? Why am I made to feel guity because i had a nice conversation , danced a little and had some fun.
I dont know what to do ..I love my girlfriend to death but her insecurity is just to much
Ok...so....talk to her? Tell her what you do when you do this, including the dancing, make a compromise. Her insecurity won't go away,by the way, especially if you do this frequently like once a week. Maybe you're as legit as you sound, maybe not...but if your GF is this insecure, no amount of talking rationalizes this happening every week. Not saying it's fair...
Wish she just understood how much i love her but that i also have a very human need to interact now and then...thanks though appreciate the input
It' just going to cycle, cycle...until you all compromise, or she cuts the crazy.
I don't know you, so I couldn't tell if you going out is a passive aggressive attempt to get under her skin, but yeah, she sounds a littl e cray cray.
Good luck, set boundaries, don't limit yourself.
Your GF's insecurity about this is valid. Either try to get her to come along, cut it out (you're in a relationship with a pretense of monogamy), or end the relationship and then you'll be free to go out, drink, dance and socialize whenever and with whomever you want.
I have to admit that
My question is, how was your dancing? Did you dance to upbeat music or was it the mellow/slow type ? The way you dance can say a lot, your girlfriend could have a motive to be jealous .
There's something else I would like to let you know. .. I had steady places that I used to play at. Even though it was a touristic area the locals also used to go to those places. After a while I got to know who was a local resident and who was a tourist.
I also happened to see many people who where frequent customers and normally would only dance to upbeat music, occasionally losing track on their drinks and eventually they would also engage in other kinds of behaviors.
If you plan on doing this kind of stuff on a regular basis you are also taking a chance of getting caught in an one night stand situation.
I saw it happen, believe me, I was a night life person for many many years. ...I got to see and learn even though I wouldn't get caught in it.
I was the kind of person who would drink Coca-Cola mixed with Sprite on the rocks so it would get a color similar to whisky. Everyone though I was having alcohol when in reality I was drinking soda all night long.