Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
If you found out a ex gf or bf cheated on you while yall were together would you want to know why and would you say anything to them about it now
I work as a CMA and I see way too many people come into the clinic with complications because they assumed their pervious partner was faithful and it turns out they weren't. I've seen so many STD/STI's get passed along to others that way as well, and it's really dangerous.
As a general rule of thumb, I get tested at the end of any relationship, and at the start of every new relationship before being sexually active. Because you just never know.
On a more emotional level, I can understand the need to know either way, because I've seen friends drive themselves crazy with their intuition telling them that their SO was cheating/did cheat but not having any proof. But I think it's best to just drop it and move on.
There was one boyfriend I had as a teen that I heard rumors years later that he might have cheated on me while away on a trip. I couldn't for sure tell if it was true because when the details came out they were details more about having the opportunity to cheat but not really proving that he took that opportunity when it was presented. At that point we had been broken up for years and I didn't care anymore. I chalked it up to his personality. If he had cheated I really wouldn't have been surprised because of who he was character wise. I was more grateful to be rid of him years later that I no longer cared about what happened in our relationship.
If I had found out some evidence that my ex-husband cheated while we were married I would certainly want to know and I'd be mad about it. There was more invested and a higher level of commitment there.