Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
me and my boyfriend have been together since November 11th, 2013. we have known each other since middle school and since we became a couple i realized he is the love of my life! we have been through a lot of shit. i have also taken a lot and am still with him. the first time we broke up was because he kissed one of his ex's and he said he liked it and wasnt sure if i was what he wanted. we were broken up for a month before he came back and begged for me back saying how stupid he was and how he wanted to be with me forever. me being completely in love with him took him back. that was around 8 months of us being together. now we have been together almost a year and 5 months. well about a month ago i found text messages between him and this girl from out of state and they were "i love you" texts, "i cant wait to be with you" texts and blah blah blah. i confronted him about it and he said he was so sorry and that he was stupid and didnt know what he was doing and didnt know why he did what he did but he never meant a word he told her and that i was all he wanted and didnt wanna lose me. again i stayed. i made him block her from his phone and all social media sites. he said he would do everything to prove to me that i am everything that he wants. we are on the same phone plan, have made plans to move in together, & he said he wants to get me a promise ring. i already have his ordered and he is looking for one for me. i love him so much but i dont know how to shake my fear. am i wrong to be scared? how do i make it go away? i know ur not suppose to let someone be so close that u physically and mentally need that person to go on but i do, i need him. ive never experienced a love for someone like this before. so strong and true. he is everything ive ever wanted and more and i want this to work. how do i battle my personal demons and shake all my fears?! HELP!! :'(......
NewBegin2012
I say go with your heart. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. However, I will offer this advice to you. Don't get married or have kids with him until you have lived together for a minimum of 5 years. After 5 years of living together and you guys are still in love, get married and have babies.
koolman
You're both very young. YOU are obviously very pretty and no doubt have plenty of options too. I'm afraid you might be limiting them by sticking to this one guy who is obviously exploring his options. Are YOU sure HE is what YOU want? Do you find any other guys attractive/potential soul-mate partners? Have you talked with any other guys and just don't feel that soul connection you do with this one?
Trixxy1
hun, i went through/am going through the same thing. I knew my partner since 9th grade. we ere best friends for years. after i had my 1st son and baby's dad left me, he was the one to comfort me, told me he always loved me, and wanted to have a family with me. i freaked out and we didnt talk for a over a year. I wanted to be friends again, and he still wanted more, and after having time to think about it, decided i did too. the problem? He worked in a bar, lived in a bachlor pad with other guys that worked in the bar, and lived that "we get drunk and do whatever we want every day" life style. he was seeing several differnt girls and would be all over me one day, and then completely ingore me for 2 weeks, and that went on until i put my foot down and said enough. he got drunk, called me at 5am and told me he hated me and that i ruined his life, and that the reason he was so messed up was because i had broken his heart. few months later, he called me up, appologized and said he wanted to be with me. i ended up geting pregnant, despite BC, and he was finally getting the family he wanted. it wasnt enough for him. i found out the day of our ultrasound that he was still texting his ex saying that he loved her and wanted to be with her. i broke up with him, but between his begging for forgiveness, and my whole family saying that i have to be with him because ill never find someone that wants a woman with 2 kids by 2 differnt guys, i eventually said ok, with conditions. I wanted him to appologize to his ex for leading her on(which is hat he said he did) and to quite working at the bar and live with me before the baby was born. he agreed. 1 year later he asked me to marry him. i said yes and started planning the wedding. then a month before the wedding he came home drunk one night, i looked at his phone and found messages from one of my friends. turns out they had been talking since right after we got engaged!!! he was telling her he loved her, wanted to be with her, and all the dirty things he wanted to do to her. I called off the wedding, and kicked him out. a month later, he came to me crying saying he missed me, and our family and wanted to know what he could do to make it better, he swore off alcohol and we started therapy. a year after that, he wanted to break up and see other people. until i started seeing someone, then he wanted me back, i left the guy i was seing to be with him, a week after that, he said he was no longer in love with e and had not been for a very long time and wanted to be with this new girl he had met. needless to say after years of this i lost it. i ened up in the hospital for sevre depression. that really woke him up, he admitted he was not a good person, and was getting help to change. we evetually got back to gether and things got better. then on his bday a few nights ago, the girl he left me for came up to him and hugged him. he swore that they didnt talk anymore, so i questioned him about it. he got angry and told me i was crazy. then last ngiht he came home drunk and was accusing me of things, so i asked who he had been talking to all night (he has a LONG history of texting ex's when he drinks) he avoided and avoided the question until i fianally asked to see his phone. this REALLY pissed him off and he called me crazy and said that if i didnt trust him that i should just leave. so my adivce to you, if you think its just going to go away.. it might, but it might just be the kind of person he is. if u can accept that, good for you, but im talling you its not an easy life....
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