Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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mk1090 05/31/2012

Okay, I am back. searching for advice on my relationship, same situations not much has changed since I caught him texting a girl while we were on vacation together with his family. Last thursday was the last ive seen my boyfriend. friday we were supposed to hang out when he got off work but t hen he decided to call me and say to just stay with my friend he was going to go hang out with his, that led to a little arguement. then, saturday all day did not hear from him....until sunday around 3pm. he sent me a text saying that he was sorry he never called he had to work saturday and left hi sphone at his friends house? Like hello....you have a house phone ? that was annoying as all heck. and then sunday he was off worka nd never told me so we didnt hang out then, then monday came along and he had to work and we barely talked....and now last night we made plans to hang out for tonight FINALLY but im just real upset. i cannot get over that he was texting a nother girl. and i thougth when someone screws up they are supposed to oh idk....make it up to you? show them they are sorry? ANYTHING? instead my boyfriend barely pays any attention to me. so i sent him a text last night explaining all the reasons i was upset and he never responded to me. does this mean he just doesnt care or too warapped up in himself to even acknowledge why im hurt. just lookinn gto vent....any opinions are fine with me or advice whatever. (weve been together 7 yrs) he is now taking steroids and addicted to percocets so i g uess maybe thats why he is mean to me and doesnt show that he cares?

deleted_user 05/31/2012

Addicts tend to be very self-centered. He sounds like he is not as emotionally attached to you as you are to him. I would work on detaching myself from this person.

Take care,
Tortoise

deleted_user 05/31/2012

If he refuses to clean up his act and get professional help for his addictions, that would be a deal-breaker for me. Addicts care about themselves, they don't care about other people in their lives.

deleted_user 05/31/2012

I have to agree with the above posts. He won 't change unless he admits he has a problem and decides to get help and make changes. Most likely if you decide to stay with him things will get worse and before you know it he will drag you down with him. He already has in some ways as you are already starting to feel alone in this relationship. Anyway you can try again to have a talk with him about getting help and if he refuses it might be a good idea to consider getting out of this relationship. Wishing you all the best and hoping happier days find you very soon:)

deleted_user 05/31/2012

When you put it all together- the texting and ignoring and the steroids, it doesn't sound like a very good package does it? Steroids are dangerous period, why is he taking them? Is it to get bigger or for a health issue and prescribed by a Dr? If it's for working out then I'd say you're better off staying away from this guy, steroids make a person very unpredictable and dangerous- I've been there done that and almost didn't survive. My bf would go into such a rage that he would black out and not even remember what it was he had done. Of course it wasn't like that when he first started taking them but it didn't take very long to get to that point and his personality went through some very drastic changes as well, in the end the steroid use caused him to become a paranoid schizophrenic from which there was no coming back. As long as your guy chooses to live this way nothing is going to change for the better.

mk1090 05/31/2012

Thank you all so much. you are right it is not a total package but I was just summing up what the issues have been. two weekends ago we got in a stupid argument and he through everything in his basement all over the place and said if i ddint leave he would "make me" get out. real lou din my face. i just cannot take it anymore and let me tell you this was not a fight for him to get this crazy over. also, the pills do not help our situation either. its all a mess......and i try to look past all of this to let us grow but nothing i do works. nothing.

faykay 06/02/2012

It really sounds like you need to find another place to go. That sort of emotional abuse over that period of time can be so damaging.
Please protect you soul and remember who you are, who you were meant to be.
Move forward with your life. There really is a beatiful world out there with some pretty nice people who won't hurt and betray you.

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