Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

9,961 Members

13,641 Posts

0 Online

onmymind2000 03/03/2015

Ok I wasn't going to post this because I didn't think it really mattered, but I am feeling hung up on it and I realize it is irrational.

I found out through a mutual contact that the guy my ex left me for is 56. Anyone on here 56 or over, know I am not saying anything about the age itself. I am 34 and my ex is 32.

I know it is irrational, but it bugs the piss out of me that she left me for a guy over 20 years older than her. Not that much younger than my parents. It makes me feel really inadequate in ways that I don't know how to explain. I wonder would I feel worse if she had left me for someone much younger? Would it matter?

I

Autumnal 03/03/2015

Yeah I get what your saying. I'm guessing the issue is the 'quality' of her...she sounds pretty off and unbalanced.

ShastaSue 03/03/2015

Is he rich?

OldCodger 03/03/2015

I would accept that she left you and leave it at that. In the scheme of things it really doesn't matter who she has ended up with.

onetoomany 03/03/2015

If she is hot, then I bet he has money!!!

But please don't feel weird about it.

jaymee4647 03/03/2015

Daddy issues?
She left you, would you think it was weird if she left you for a 20yr old?

foundlove 03/03/2015

I don't think it would hurt any less if she had left for guy younger. I think your thinking too much about it. Please try to distract yourself from what happened, and who she is with. It's the best to just forget and move on. She does not deserve your heartache.

Bubbabiker 03/04/2015

Time to get over it and move on. Stop thinking about her and start thinking about the future. Spend the time working on you. Keep your eyes open because when you least expect it you will cross paths with the right woman.

undeadparagon 03/04/2015

I suppose you could date an 18 year old, and see how she likes that. Just kidding. You're right about overthinking it. I can rationalize something a million different ways. Or something close. Just distract yourself, for nothing good could come out of dwelling on this.

koolman 03/04/2015

I agree, he's got to be rich, and she loves him for his money. It can't be because she digs his gray hair and he's better looking than you and hung like a horse, no.

If he's rich, is THAT what's really bothering you, that he's richer than you?

onmymind2000 03/04/2015

Nope, thats definitley not it.

koolman 03/04/2015

Then I don't get it. What was the pull for her? Did you meet the guy? Is he more emotionally secure? Is he more intelligent? Is he deeper and wiser? Does he remind her of her father and her father was her first crush?

onmymind2000 03/05/2015

I never met him. They met online while we were dating and got engaged behind my back, then she took off to live with him.

onmymind2000 03/05/2015

She always told me her father was an asshole but she also lied so much about everything there's a good chance she was the asshole.

Apparently I need to get over it. I didn't know 3 weeks was the expiration date for 13 years.

cottontail 03/05/2015

who knows ? you can never predict human behaviour. You need to concentrate on you now and what you want to do. You can hypothise and waste a lot of energy wondering why but seriously who knows why. Maybe he doesn't look his age ? Don't see it as being negative on you she just wasn't right for you and you will find someone else eventually im sure.

koolman 03/05/2015

Sorry, Onmymind. Don't know what to say. I'll shut up now.

Join the Conversation