Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I'll cut straight to the point. This is my first real relationship with anybody I was always more of a drifter when it came to being with people. But there was something different to the both of us from day one and that's how we've lasted thus far. In July it will be our 1 year anniversary and I'm so excited because our anniversary is the same day as my 21st birthday and though he is deployed and I'm going to be 7 months pregnant I plan to enjoy that day.
I guess I posted to ask some questions. We recently started talking about marriage and we both agree that though a baby is on the way we are still a little too immature to be getting married just for our child's sake. Well one of the things I intend to work on which is a major problem of mine is my anger issues during arguments. We don't necessarily argue because I shut down and don't want to talk about it till I'm not steaming mad. But I want to work on letting him know when and why I'm upset the moment I start getting angry. I never speak a word and normally end up doing really childish things to let him know I'm mad like shunning him when it's cuddle time or I won't give a good night kiss or slamming the bedroom door when I walk out.
Knowing that I do these things I definitely know I can't be married and have the mindset and attitude of a child towards my husband.
I guess I'm just asking for techniques to express my anger without being overly dramatic or blowing it out of proportion.
Sorry if it's scatter brained a little.
I guess I posted to ask some questions. We recently started talking about marriage and we both agree that though a baby is on the way we are still a little too immature to be getting married just for our child's sake. Well one of the things I intend to work on which is a major problem of mine is my anger issues during arguments. We don't necessarily argue because I shut down and don't want to talk about it till I'm not steaming mad. But I want to work on letting him know when and why I'm upset the moment I start getting angry. I never speak a word and normally end up doing really childish things to let him know I'm mad like shunning him when it's cuddle time or I won't give a good night kiss or slamming the bedroom door when I walk out.
Knowing that I do these things I definitely know I can't be married and have the mindset and attitude of a child towards my husband.
I guess I'm just asking for techniques to express my anger without being overly dramatic or blowing it out of proportion.
Sorry if it's scatter brained a little.
I tend to avoid confrontation myself, it makes me really uncomfortable.But if I start to feel "attacked" and feel myself getting defensive, irrational, and angry, I usually just say "I need some space right now" and then go into another room. Take some time to consider the situation, your boyfriends point of view, and any roll you might have played contributing to the situation. Sometimes it helps me to write things down, somehow that takes some of the emotion oit of it. Once you feel calm, go back and finish the conversation, until the situation is resolved.
Good luck on your journey of personal growth, and know that those who want to grow, will grow :-)
As for slamming the door, think of it this way, in no time, you're child will be born n being sponges, s/he will pick up on this (slamming doors). When your child gets angry, would you be okay with him/her slamming doors on you or their father?
Just a suggestion.