Healthy Eating Support Group

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Tired of Mean-Spirited Comments

tmckenzie
tmckenzie
I need to share something to get out my anger in a healthy way. I work very hard at living healthy in both my eating and walking plan and I am not perfect. For years, I was very, very unhealthy and I have been overweight and depressed. I now live my lile in a healthy way. I also work hard at not talking overly much about my choices to my friends who do not live healthy. I would never say anything mean to them about their weight. However, I get mean comments from my friends often. Example: I went to a Party Lite party & one friend brought Tastefully Simple Cherry Cobbler. She was quite put out that I chose not to eat any. I didn't say a word about not having it but she insisted on asking why I wouldn't eat it. She said I should have one small piece. I explained to her that that type of sugar food would trigger me to overeat and I cannot do that. She rolled her eyes as usual & made a comment under her breath. This happens to me often and I do not know how to dispel the anger I feel at this type person. I know she is overweight & diabetic and I guess I make her feel guilty or something. I do not know but I would never be mean to her. Thanks for letting me share this. What I will not do is go eat something bad for me because I am angry at her for her hurtful comments. I'll get it out walking today I guess.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your unhealthy friends don't want you to change because when you are healthy and slim you will make them feel guilty about their own lifestyle - as you lose weight be prepared to find new friends cos the old ones won't be around once you are slim. - surround yourself with positive friends not those that bring you "down" and don't allow you to be the person you were meant to be. Take care.
tmckenzie
tmckenzie
Thank you so much for your kind and true words. I went to church today and I thought of a better way to deal with it. We are having a snow storm so I cannot walk outside. I will walk inside in the garage today to my music. For dinner tonight, I am going to make a small portion of a healthy fruit cobbler that I can feel good about eating. Thanks for your supportive advice.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with Ziporah. Stay on your healthy path and keep doing what you are doing. I have found that those who are true friends support me and are happy for me when I am doing something good for myself. Don't let it drag you down. Stay strong. ( :
deleted_user
deleted_user
dont hang out with people who make you feel bad. they are trouble. stick to your healthy living and make more friends with healthy people from healthy places and no one will try to drag you down.
Thriver
Thriver
Her reaction makes no sense, since she didn't make it. If she had baked it, I might see her being disappointed, but actually, in a way, she was trying to make you fail. Frenemies do that sometimes! Just let it go and try to avoid negative people with issues.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i get this all the time and it makes me angry too. I would have thought the person would have understood if she was diabetic and should be watching her sugar intake as well. I feel people are constantly laughing at me and are patronising, well done on doing the walking to get it out of your system. you could have been triggered to have a food binge

june
tmckenzie
tmckenzie
I agree with and appreciate all of the comments. I understand the comments on being laughed at and patronized also. Without exception, the majority of the people I know tell me how I should treat myself and I am depriving myself when I eat healthy. I have come to understand that it is loving to me to eat healthy and I am not depriving myself in any way. It is a lie to myself to think otherwise. Yes, I do have some treats that are healthy and I allow myself "some" treats that are not so healthy. That is far different than thinking eating a burger from a fast food place or whatever your "treat" of choice is being kind to your body. Sadly, I do not know any healthy people so it is hard to find friends to be around who are healthy. I will continue to look. I have finally learned after years of abusing my body that my best friend is my healthy eating plan. I know how much better I feel because of my healthy eating. I will not allows others to dictate what are treats are to me. Thank you for the support.
MaryBeth61
MaryBeth61
"Misery loves company." I know people who are like that too. And I know it's easy to say, but I try my best to ignore people like that.
deleted_user
deleted_user
people love to judge especially when they are jealous that you are being successful and looking after your health and they arent. They just want you to fail so you can stay like them. people get scared when someone changes. Its like men who threaten to leave women if they lose a lot of weight so they sabotage the weight loss by buying lots of high fat foods. I really admire your determination, Sadly, like you said I dont know any healthy people either
mechellebelle
mechellebelle
I have run into this and feel your pain. I find it's a lot easier to dodge the situation entirely by saying "oh, I plan to get some later" and then if she asks you after the party just say "oh, drat I forgot!"

Or, I'll say "oh I'd love to but cherries and I don't agree" (as in, bad digestion or something). But usually the first line works the best. = )

I don't know why people do what they do. I used to think they just want us to enjoy it as much as they do, but I'm not sure about that now.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You can try not to take their words so seriously. Just stay in your healthy living style and keep up in whatever you think is good for you. Anger makes us unhealthy. If they don't understand you, it's not your fault. Stay away from them if you feel unpleasant. You will eventually gain support from those who understand you. :)