Healing the Child Within Community Group
This is a safe haven for victims of childhood abuse and their loved ones to share stories, sympathies, and tips for healing. Whether verbal, physical, or sexual in nature, the effects of childhood abuse can be permanently scarring. Together, though, we can find strength and solace in each other.
At my age I feel that I should be able to understand my own feelings and behaviours but I dont. Especially where men are concerned.
I have spent a large part of my life being sexually abused and raped by family members, friends of the family whom I have trusted.
I am now strong enough to have broken free of abusive relationships which I am proud of. However, I have been single for some time and would love nothing more than to have a loving relationship with a man I love and trust. This is where the problem seems to be.
I find I get into relationships where the man thinks I am wonderful and wants to love me and for a while I like him (sometimes think I love him)and all is good. Then everything changes. I suddenly really don't want him anywhere near me, think he's using me and start to hate him and want to run away and finish the relationship.
Am I just weird or is it as a result of my abuse? Does anyone else go through this? Can I get passed it?
I have spent a large part of my life being sexually abused and raped by family members, friends of the family whom I have trusted.
I am now strong enough to have broken free of abusive relationships which I am proud of. However, I have been single for some time and would love nothing more than to have a loving relationship with a man I love and trust. This is where the problem seems to be.
I find I get into relationships where the man thinks I am wonderful and wants to love me and for a while I like him (sometimes think I love him)and all is good. Then everything changes. I suddenly really don't want him anywhere near me, think he's using me and start to hate him and want to run away and finish the relationship.
Am I just weird or is it as a result of my abuse? Does anyone else go through this? Can I get passed it?
Emotional responses are not a conscious choice, they are an "automatic" reaction originating in the subconscious mind where your memories and habitual behaviors are formed. It sounds like your mind is telling you (whether in words or in chemical signals) "get away from this man before you get hurt". To overcome this you will have to form new thoughts such as "I can be happy in a loving relationship with a man" to replace the thoughts that are driving you away from men.
You may be able to do this on your own, or you might consider looking into NLP, EMDR or hypnotherapy to help you change your beliefs about men.