I am answering from my kindle, so i am not typing the whole verse! Lots of verses have sustained me... John 14:18, 27, Philippians 4:7, were both powerful for me early on. The one that literally sustained me snd i tried to memorize is Isaiah 12:2 "Behold God is my salvation. I will trust and not be afraid. For the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song ; He also has become my Salvation." I would repeat " i will trust and not be afraid " over and over when I would wake up in a panic in the middle of the night. Knowing my strength alone was not all there was, but I could ( can and do) call on the strength of the Lord to help me when i am losing it. This has been an amazing blessing.

Good scriptures, Trying.

I should add my own. Ironically, these are Scripture verses which helped me in dealing with forgiveness and acceptance of what happened.

And while they were continuing questioning Him, rising up, He said unto them, "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to cast a stone at her."
(Joh 8:7 EMTV)

"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
(Mat 6:14-15 EMTV)

Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy- seven times.
(Mat 18:21-22 EMTV)

I realized today that one article missing, which I see so many struggling with, is forgiveness, for our library. Guess I have another one to write. lol.

But for me, to not forgive would be to sabotage my own spiritual growth, put my salvation in jeopardy, and ensure that rebuilding eventually fails. And these verses speak to that. I'm not without sin, and I've been forgiven much. So not only can I not cast the first stone, I can't not forgive if I want to remain in a close relationship with God and see my wife redeemed, and our marriage restored.

Wow..I love Scripture. One of my latest Facebook posts is this: "my Bible will not get dusty". I want to promise God and myself that.

I adore Psalms. Anytime I'm down I immediately open it up and randomly read..helps every time. I've even cried while reading... :'(...

I'm going to start reading again "Our Daily Bread". My Grandmother used to read it and I love carrying positive traditions on. It's a wonderful little book and..free :-)

Thanks for the reminder Cole...vital in my recovery ..

Hugs..Sherrie

Sherrie, I had a talk with my priest Sun about my sadness. He suggested I read some Psalms every day. He said to go beginning to end. I love Psalms too. The funny thing is he told me to do that as a result of my sadness and they sometimes make me cry too.

I read a daily scripture reading as well which also comes with a lesson. They come to my e-mail each day which is great because I can read them from my phone anytime. It is always with me.

The most wonderful for me is Psalm 50. Cole asked me to read it everyday shortly after Dday since it is the Psalm King David wrote as a direct result of his adultry with Bathsheba and on top of that he sent her H to the front lines so he would be killed so he had adultry and murder on his plate to deal with. Thus the words, "deliver me from blood guiltiness oh God, thou God of my salvation." Anyway, reading that Psalm, knowing why he wrote it, is very special. I memorized it long ago.

Forgiveness is a huge issue with me, one I struggle with on a daily basis. Last week at our counseling session I broke down and cried because I'm still so angry and just not ready to forgive. Our counselor is kind but very direct and blunt...he asked me did I think any of my sins were less offensive in God's eyes than my husband's adultery? If I'm expecting Jesus to forgive me for all the sins of committed and will commit in the future, how can I NOT forgive my husband? It's so hard...so I try to read every verse I can find on forgiveness. But one of the most comforting chapters I've read lately over and over again is 1 Corinthians 13...the love chapter. " ... Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. " 1 Corinthians 13:13, The Message. Love extravagantly...I want to love and be loved like that. :-)

Me to Mom of 6... me too.

I'm hurting. My husband isn't able to forgive me..which..to me..equates to continued hostility and on my part ..potential resentment. I know codependency plays a huge role in my healing..or the digression thereof. I cannot force him to forgive ..and I get that ..but it still hurts ..

Need to get into some Scripture ...

hugs..Sherrie

I don't know if you've seen it and read it, but I wrote an article on forgiveness in the library. Here's the link:

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/healing-infidelity-through-faith/news/view/4055904

I think, one, you can take what is mostly referencing a BS forgiving and the CS as accepting, and realize there are aspects of it that apply the other direction as well. But two, since you are also the offended one in relation to movie's actions both in an abusive way and in cheating, their is also some forgiveness you'll bear. And you want to make sure that despite what is going on, you can find forgiveness and seek a solution to your situation that will be for the best of both of you. Folks have already talked about that with you on other forums.

Read that article, however. Forgiving him doesn't equate to "you're off the hook, and I'll sit here and take the abuse." Forgiving is to find healing, however that ends up being done. And sometimes that means leaving as well as staying.

But you are right. We can't force someone to forgive us. And for you to heal, you not only need to eventually come to the place of forgiving him yourself, but stop the hurt from occurring. As long as the knife is in your heart, forgiveness is difficult except for the very saintly. First one must have a measure of safety, then one can focus on forgiveness in time.

Movie might at some point become ready to forgive. Who knows if and when that will happen. But you have a trump card. If you are humble, seek His face, ask, and turn from the sin, God is ready to forgive and heal. And his forgiveness trumps movie's forgiveness.

One of the scriptures that has taken on new meaning for me as the BS is the woman caught in adultery that the Pharisees cast before Jesus, testing him. You no doubt know it. According to the Law, she should be stoned. Jesus told them, "He who is without sin, cast the first stone." All her accusers left until it was just the woman and Jesus.

Most people focus on that part. But the real kicker comes in what happens next. Keep in mind, Jesus as God gave that law. He wrote it! On top of that, the only person there who had no sin and therefore had the "right" to throw the first stone was Jesus. By all rights, He would have been blameless to pick up a stone and start the rain of rocks upon her until she died.

But, He didn't. Instead, when she admitted that her accusers had all left, Jesus tells her two key things. "Neither do I accuse you," and "Go and sin no more."

Jesus forgave her, then told her to take advantage of that opportunity to not end up back in the same situation, but to change her life. According to tradition, she did, and became a saint in the Church. Yep, that's right. And she's not the only adulterous/fornicating saint in the church.

Stoning adulterous spouses essentially prevented any healing. It was a radical step to eliminate all sinful influence from Israelite society. But the same God who gave that law also said there is mercy and forgiveness and a chance of healing, even for a sin that previously gave no such forgiveness or mercy.

If you've gone to God in humility and repentance, He has forgiven you, whether movie ever does or not.

But you are right. Movie needs to eventually come there if the relationship is to be healed. I don't have an answer as to how long you wait for that. But as others have said in other forums, if he has become abusive, it may be time to take some more drastic measures. It's all yuk, I know. But there it is.

And in case you don't know, I pray by name for both of you nearly every day.

I needed this group!

Psalm 51 "1)Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. 2) Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin... 17)The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God."

This Psalm can cover all sins, but it was written specifically when David was dealing with his adultery with Bathsheba. No other verse of scripture hits home for us CS's than this. It gives me strength and hope.

Definately a good Psalm for CSs, impono. I've got it listed in the news section (see table of contents):

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/healing-infidelity-through-faith/news/

And early on instructed Gabrielle to memorize and recite this Psalm everyday.