Hello. I am new to the group.  I have always considered myself a warm, caring person and do try to do and care for others. I have been married 16 years, but the last 11 have been with no affection or physical touch, miniscule communication, and virtually no help with anything around the house. Stbx is completely content as is (with a roommate, cook,maid and nurse... no need for a wife). I have filed but paused on a divorce to help nurse him through a foot surgery.  he doesn't want me to leave. Am I being selfish to want and need more? 

I have spent my entire life giving and doing for others. Never truly believing I deserve a life or happiness of my own. I get this from my mom who was the same way. She sacrificed her life... lived to care for her dysfunctional husband and kids...

As I try to follow his lead and just go through the motions, he is oblivious (even though I have tried explaining how I am feeling many times) He does try here and there... but while he is completely content, I am left feeling empty , resentful and not really caring whether i do face another day.

When I first filed for divorce, I actually felt relief . While it was a bit scary, I had found a bit of excitement and hope that I could step out and begin to do and experience so many things I never had done throughout my life.  (I do always say I WAS a poor, deprived soul.) It is no fun simply watching others experience life by the sidelines.   Am I being selfish in wanting to experience that as well???   :(