hmmm yeah I don't know. I think I would go about it nonchalantly and just "mention" gd when you pick your daughter up from class. Like somehow work it in. Then maybe that would give her the opportunity to tell you she has it and open up the conversation. She probably just feels silly just coming outright and saying it. Also, maybe if she is new to it she doesn't know that the decompression surgery you had is related to the gd? I know I feel silly just coming out and telling people that I have it. I usually wait for an opportunity to bring it up when we're on the top of something similar (other diseases, or if someone mentions a symptom that I have, etc).

Hi cc,
Maybe hand her a card. Put a personal note in it like.....
Hi, I just wanted to let you know you have my support. I have graves disease too.
Tell her... I didn't want to approach you personally or hurt your feelings but just wanted to let you know I'm here for you if you want to talk. Tell her I understand what you are going through and would like to offer you a shoulder.
Honestly.... I think most people would be elated.....there is nothing worse than feeling like you are suffering alone!!!!!

No, no, never ask others if they have GD or other health problems! I feel one should only mention about themselves having GD and what they did about it. Then it is up to others to decide whether or not to bring up their own health issues.

I have health concerns that I will not bring up to other people unless I really know how they will react. I know some people, friends and family, that I will not discuss health with because they go extremely overboard and assume they know everything.

Having been on both sides I lend support to others that I feel comfortable with by giving out general information about myself and how I handle my health. This, in turn, gives them the opening whether or not they feel comfortable about speaking up about their own health concerns.

Take care... :-)

It has been a lot easier for me to talk to people with or without GD since I became a support leader. I have an excuse to pass out my cards and calenders. I just pass them out to people I am talking to and tell them to pass it on to anyone they think could use our support. My co-leader wears her GD t-shirt when she goes shopping and people stop and ask her about the butterfly or the saying on it.
It is always good to have an opener to bring up GD. I went for a memogram yesterday and the tech's father has GD and they were at a lost of what to do for him. I have found more people know someone with GD since we have been passing out cards. gravelyill had the right idea.

I wouldnt keep my mouth shut. I wouldnt say it in a crowd of people but mayb oull her aside and offer her info if she needs it. We all know how alone this disease can make us feel. In the begining or at DX none of us realized what we had ahead of us b/c we to figured ohh its the thyroid so easily treated. I had a old friend call me out of the blue he was jst DXed w/ it and wanted as much info and direction as possible. Everyone kept telling him alot of this was in his head and that thyroid was jst metabolism etc. Until I explained why he needed to get to the doc asap for treatment. he now will give me a call w/ questions and updates on what hes doin he also has some TED involvment and they were talking RAI to him. Sometimes helping w/ ur story can truly help someone. He has said to me i dont know how u did this alone not having anyone to ask questions to So I say def go for it talk w/ her if she wants to discuss it she will if not at least uve extended ur hand

Having been divorced myself I understand all the emotions and humiliation behind that. I felt very alienated in my community. I would approach her from that angle. Im sure she could use the support in just that. I would not ask her about graves but once you establish a relationship you could begin by talking about your graves and allow her to feel safe and chose her time to open up to you. I think this is a wonderful thing for you to do cc9393..you have a good heart...Kathy

Thank you all for your advice. Iam still a little unsure about what I will do but I will be sure to keep you all posted :)

Marpo..what type of group are you part of? I have been looking to join a support group and fundraisers for GD but without any luck.

Dairytech..you always say the kindest things. Thank goodness for my good heart, everything else is heading south..LOL

cc, just follow your heart. Be discrete and offer your support. Sharing something in common like this crazy disease can surely open up communication and let her know that she isn't alone.

right....she might be dying to share this with someone, but doesn't know anything about it, or what to do..... I would take the opportunity if it presents itself to share your story first and see if she opens up.It's funny if you start talking about it someone will eventually say" oh yeah my aunt has that"..or that they know someone with Graves.

Tell her about this site and maybe she can join and feel more in the know with this Disease. Start a support group at the church, I am sure you cant bethe only ones there with thyroid problems. Churches are always open to supporting people. It should help you both!
Good Luck to you. Its Very kind to think of others in this time. God has you here for a reason and it seems you are being obedient.
Kelly

cc, you have nothing to lose by being kind and thoughtful. The rewards are limitless and can touch many lives. I can tell you have a kind heart and thats admirable!
You will find a way to help this woman. In doing such it will be helpful for you as well.
It's not good to suffer in silence, even though that is how so many of our gender have been brought up to do.

gravelyill is right taqlk to the lady. You will make her feel good for caring and make yourself feel good . You have nothing to lose and a freind to gain. Who knows she may be just the person to make your days easier.

If someone came up to me (a stranger) and asked if I had Graves, (or troubles with thyroid), I wouldn't feel comfortable and willing to open. I wouldn't cut him/her off, maybe exchange 2 words ("yes, it's been treated"), but then I'd feel that they caught me off-guard and generally feel offended. Imagine someone coming up to you and asking "I think you have fibroids, wanna talk?" I'd think my fibroids wouldn't be anyone's business, and the fact that Graves is more visible than fibroids, shouldn't make any difference.

If I received a thoughtful note, though, with much care said about them NOT bringing it up any more, UNLESS I'm willing and ready, would give me a chance to think it over and have time to decide (not being caught up on the spot).

The same effect is with cards that Marpo gives out - I would feel that if I needed, I'd come to them, but no forcing.

hi nonono and others:

You are on the 'right' track. I don't feel comfortable sharing with strangers or even with some of my close family members and friends. I know they mean well and express their concerns, etc. But, if said in the 'wrong' ways ends up making things worst since many of these people do not have the diseases that I have.

I only give advice when I am asked. I have family members who complain choronically everytime I see them. They don't really want advice, they just want to 'sound-off'. When one is in that mode, they're not really listening and don't want to 'hear' anything anyway.

I also noticed that sometimes these people aren't trying to take the 'right' steps to heal themselves for whatever inflictions they have. If they're not 'open' to listening, they are not 'opened' to reading anything be it on the Internet or in the books to help themselves.

I have people tell me this "Gee...mmztcass, I know you are/must be in so much pain, yet I never hear you complain. Blah, blah, blah...". I research and read as much as I am able to do so about my health issues.

I have talked to people in the past before about the things they need to do and ended uo getting told off and cussed out. I will not do this again.

Have a Happy New Year everyone! :-)

For me...if a stranger or an acquaintance came up to me and asked me if I had graves or TED I would feel very uncomfortable. I would retreat rather than open up and Im a talky talky person. Its a sensitive issue for me and I believe it is for most. I need to feel safe first. Other than my eyes I feel I suffer anonymously. To have someone come up to me..I would feel my privacy and secrecy would be broken which would make me feel very vulnerable. It would effect my self worth and doubt my judgment in how I perceive me and my disease. To me friendships are based on sensitivity, kindness, caring and sharing. Time and building trust fosters those wonderful things. Family is inherited...friends are chosen.