Graves' Disease Support Group
Graves-Basedow disease is a medical disorder that may manifest several different conditions including hyperthyroidism (over activity of thyroid hormone production), infiltrative exophthalmos (protruberance of one or both eyes and associated problems) and infiltrative dermopathy (a skin condition usually of the lower extremities). This disorder is the most common cause of...
My husband and I have been together for 20 years. We have three children the eldest in college the youngest is only 2 years old. He has always been emotionally erratic but the last 2 years with the hyperthyroidism its just unbearable. He is verbally and emotionally abusive to me and the children. I am scared he will become violent. I cannot take any more. 20 years wasted. When he isnt volatile he is withdrawn and depressed. Our lives have become centered on walking on eggshells 24/7. How can I raise kids in this? The doctors have still yet to properly diagnose him but I have spent 30 years in medicine we know its his thyroid working overtime. I find myself fantasizing about being with someone else. Someone normal. Oh God I feel horrible.
I feel for you. I know what I put my husband through.
I have been married to him 25 years. The doctor (finally) diagnosed me with Graves Disease, last January. After doing lots of research and choosing Anti-thyroid drugs (Methimazole) instead of the other 2 options plus choosing to take the more holistic route has helped me become a much calmer person. I can look back and see how my emotions were a roller coaster.
Thyroid issues affect almost everyhting in the body and mind. On another note, having this disease should not give that person a free pass to act out and be abusive.
May I ask you a few questions?
Has he been confirmed by tests as having hyperthyroidism? Does he know if this was brought on by Graves Disease - was he tested for that? Does he know what caused it?
Has he been seeing an endocrinologist to keep an eye on his numbers? Is he taking medication for the hyperthyroidism or has he chosen to do RAI or surgery? Do you know his numbers - his 2 year history of T.S.H., Free T3 and Free T4?
Would he be willing to speak to others on this forum, for support?
I hope I can explain this so you can understand what one goes through when having this disease. He IS scared/frightened by how his body and mind are working. NOT having an understanding of what this disease is all about, makes one very vulnerable. Because your thyroid controls the temperature in your body (like a thermostat) he could be hot one moment and cold the next. His heart can be fine one moment and then get heart arrhythmias. He could have insomnia because his heart is racing at night. And, as a woman with children - you can understand what lack of sleep can do to you. He could lose excessive amount of weight from his metabolism running so fast. He could have a ravenous appetite, as well. He could have diarrhea at any moment (I was going through that). The best way I can really explain his emotions is think of yourself when you would get your periods - moodiness, ultra-sensitive, EVERYTHING bothers you.
Has his doctors checked his male hormones. Women’s hormones are directly linked in with this disease.
BTW, drinking alcohol and smoking is a big no-no with this disease (just in case he drinks or smokes)
I haven’t heard of anyone becoming violent with this disease. Just nasty, very nasty.
From what you are saying....emotionally abusive and then withdrawn and depressed, could mean his thyroid hormones are fluctuating (HYPER - HYPO)
Don’t worry or feel bad about fantasizing - this is a very difficult and stressful thing you are going through.
Let’s get a handle on it by finding out where he stands with his numbers and lifestyle plan so he can feel better and then you can feel better.
Just so you know, it’s been almost a year for me and my doctor reduced my Methimazole to 5mg per week (from the starting point of 10mg per day) and I have been feeling much calmer and take things in stride. It’s a new normal. Let me know what you would like to do. Take Care.