Doctors can really put their foot in their mouths just like everybody else. Maybe he's concerned the child is going to be more challenging to raise than the average adoptor might knowingly sign on for. But you are this child's blood, not some strangers picking a random kid at an orphanage.

A lot of us grands on here can barely find the energy or money to raise our grands without the added stressors of physical and/or mental development issues. Only you and your spouse can determine whether you are willing and able to adopt a grand with complex issues.

I think it's wonderful that you are not letting this doctor dissuade you. You are really awesome people to reject this doctor's warning.

Wow That seems like a very unprofessional thing to say to you in my opinion; Not to mention heartless. There are a lot of people out there who would never consider raising someone else's child healthy or not, Family or not. He may be 1 of those people for all you know. I just don't think any doctor should say something like that without a solid diagnosis explained and discussed at the same time. I know it wouldn't stop me if my grandson had a difficult diagnosis. It would probably just make me more determined to keep them out of the system. Warmest wishes and god's blessings to you.

None of us know what lies ahead w these kids. Our gs still has risk of things coming up in adulthood. Good news for you is that he is under three when character development begins. Perhaps the doc was trying to warn you if you do not have adequate insurance. Our gs was 16 when we heard the worst news. Right now he is good but we don't know what future bring. Understand your feelings but stay strong until you have all resuuults and can plan.

We had a Genetic Dr appt later yesterday after I posted earlier and this Dr was more positive. He viewed my grandson for sometime to think of other tests to have done. He drew some blood to test for Hypotonia "Happy floppy baby syndrome" because when my grandson moves around or even sits on our laps he flops his arms and head allot. That test should come back in a month. They will also do a MRI or a brain scan and we will be having a hearing test done, too.

My husband and I have not change our direction and we do believe the Neuro Dr was mainly talking about insurance because he told us that he thought the Military insurance may even be better depending on if the state gives my grandson straight medi cal when we adopt. Right now California is in big trouble and they have and are going to make many more cuts in our state system this year. However; I am involved with Alliance for children's rights law group and we are lead to believe that they will be doing that fight for us. We have had them push already for services and they're lawyers are known for fighting a hard fight.

It is amazing how we are so use to my gs and sometimes we can't tell that he is under developed until we see other children his age. He is such a happy & playful baby now...he wasn't several months ago.

The only concern is that I'm getting worn down with working and all his appointments...I seem to feel like I am always in the fight mode for him because that is what we have to do to get services these days. At work I am so behind in my work and when I work I'm stressed to get as much as I can done before I have to take another day off for my grandson's appointments.

Thanks everyone for your support, I'm sure the Neuro Dr was looking at our age and insurance. We already knew he was going to be a high maintenance gs. We love him so much that we could never give up on him or us!

Liam, that makes sense -- that he would have been referring to insurance. Also, once a diagnosis is made you may be able to get help from whatever association raises funds for that disorder. Hopefully, it will be something that be outgrown...

If your grandson appears delayed only in comparison to other children, it sounds as if the delay isn't very severe. I hope, and will say prayers :-)