Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Needing to vent big time.
Yesterday my little girl graduated from Kindergarten. It was a happy time but also a sad time. Happy, because of all the wonderful accomplishments and strides she's made, but sad as well because she is growing up way too fast. In any event, I am so proud of her for everything she does.
Rewind to a few days ago. I had asked my little girl if she wanted to invite her mom and she said yes. I didn't want to not ask her on HER monumental day so I did so. I hadn't heard much from her "mother" except for the word, OK.
I told her that if they were planning on coming then she needed to be dressed decently and clean. Now in anyone's normal state of mind we know what that means right? Hmmm apparently a 29 and 31 yr old doesn't. They showed up here at the house and she was wearing school scrubs that looked to be 2 sizes too big and he wearing filthy, stained pants. Uggh I about went through the roof.
I asked her if that is what she (they) was wearing and she said she just came from school. Umm, that's not the impression she left me with that morning. She left me with the impression that she was at home. So what this tells me is 2 things. Ok, more than 2 things.
1. They spent all their money again on useless stuff and had no money to wash their clothes so she wore scrubs.
2. She wanted to TRY to impress everyone at my little girls school that she she was someone important and just came from work or something. Ummm it didn't work.
3. This is the very first function that they have attended at her school and she so wanted to play mommy of the year. Umm again it didn't work.
It was funny though because my little girl ran to us instead of her "mother". She had the gall to stand right in front of my lil guy at the school and I think I said something like, really? or ahem or something to that effect. OMGosh she was soo tired and her back was sore. OMGosh, she's 29 and goes to school. Really? There goes the me me me syndrome again.
So after all of this, we came back to the house for a bit. My lil boy wanted to play horsey with the steploser and he didn't want to. He didn't want much to do with either of the kids. He only wanted to have something to do with HIS baby (my kids' half sister). My lil guy cried and whinned and neither of them (the "mother" and the steploser) would play with them or anything else. They either just sat there or played with the baby. The step loser told my lil guy to get another toy and he'd play with him so my lil guy did that but the step loser didn't play but for just a minute.
I thought (I know stupid me) that since the "mother" hadn't seen the kids since Easter, then she would have a little more to do with them then this. Ok Ok I said stupid me.... So then, before they left, I took the kids (my little ones and their sister) outside to get some pictures. On the way back in my little girl hit her arm on the door knob and she started crying. Their "mother" said "Come here baby, mommy look at it". My little girl crossed her arms said nut uh and came running to me for love and hugs. After their "mother" left, we took the kids and went shopping and out to dinner. Neither one asked for or about their "mother"
So then, late last night, my dd posted on her FB about how she needed a ride today somewhere (school I think) and could anyone give her a ride and she would appreciate it because she had to walk home and almost had a heat stroke (insert rolling eyes). I asked her why her husband didn't come pick her up. Well this morning I looked and she said (this is taken off her FB) "no gas we used the last of it to come see (my little girl) graduate and then we sat in traffic for an hour." Boo freakin hoo.
OMGOsh this infuriated me. I took this as she was/is blaming my little girl for them not having gas and they came as an obligation more than wanting to. They always seem to have the money to go do what they want and don't even bother to support her other 2 children. Uggh...
This is just too freakin hilarious anymore. Just one more reason why I am so glad we have our gc with us.
Yesterday my little girl graduated from Kindergarten. It was a happy time but also a sad time. Happy, because of all the wonderful accomplishments and strides she's made, but sad as well because she is growing up way too fast. In any event, I am so proud of her for everything she does.
Rewind to a few days ago. I had asked my little girl if she wanted to invite her mom and she said yes. I didn't want to not ask her on HER monumental day so I did so. I hadn't heard much from her "mother" except for the word, OK.
I told her that if they were planning on coming then she needed to be dressed decently and clean. Now in anyone's normal state of mind we know what that means right? Hmmm apparently a 29 and 31 yr old doesn't. They showed up here at the house and she was wearing school scrubs that looked to be 2 sizes too big and he wearing filthy, stained pants. Uggh I about went through the roof.
I asked her if that is what she (they) was wearing and she said she just came from school. Umm, that's not the impression she left me with that morning. She left me with the impression that she was at home. So what this tells me is 2 things. Ok, more than 2 things.
1. They spent all their money again on useless stuff and had no money to wash their clothes so she wore scrubs.
2. She wanted to TRY to impress everyone at my little girls school that she she was someone important and just came from work or something. Ummm it didn't work.
3. This is the very first function that they have attended at her school and she so wanted to play mommy of the year. Umm again it didn't work.
It was funny though because my little girl ran to us instead of her "mother". She had the gall to stand right in front of my lil guy at the school and I think I said something like, really? or ahem or something to that effect. OMGosh she was soo tired and her back was sore. OMGosh, she's 29 and goes to school. Really? There goes the me me me syndrome again.
So after all of this, we came back to the house for a bit. My lil boy wanted to play horsey with the steploser and he didn't want to. He didn't want much to do with either of the kids. He only wanted to have something to do with HIS baby (my kids' half sister). My lil guy cried and whinned and neither of them (the "mother" and the steploser) would play with them or anything else. They either just sat there or played with the baby. The step loser told my lil guy to get another toy and he'd play with him so my lil guy did that but the step loser didn't play but for just a minute.
I thought (I know stupid me) that since the "mother" hadn't seen the kids since Easter, then she would have a little more to do with them then this. Ok Ok I said stupid me.... So then, before they left, I took the kids (my little ones and their sister) outside to get some pictures. On the way back in my little girl hit her arm on the door knob and she started crying. Their "mother" said "Come here baby, mommy look at it". My little girl crossed her arms said nut uh and came running to me for love and hugs. After their "mother" left, we took the kids and went shopping and out to dinner. Neither one asked for or about their "mother"
So then, late last night, my dd posted on her FB about how she needed a ride today somewhere (school I think) and could anyone give her a ride and she would appreciate it because she had to walk home and almost had a heat stroke (insert rolling eyes). I asked her why her husband didn't come pick her up. Well this morning I looked and she said (this is taken off her FB) "no gas we used the last of it to come see (my little girl) graduate and then we sat in traffic for an hour." Boo freakin hoo.
OMGOsh this infuriated me. I took this as she was/is blaming my little girl for them not having gas and they came as an obligation more than wanting to. They always seem to have the money to go do what they want and don't even bother to support her other 2 children. Uggh...
This is just too freakin hilarious anymore. Just one more reason why I am so glad we have our gc with us.
I have two little GC we're adopting. I took my DD off my fb account months ago as well. Right now CPS said no contact with kids and bio mom, we were thinking about having the visits at our house after the adoption, but if you look at my resent post you'll see we're not going there.
Try removing yourself from your child. Look at starting a new life with the GC you have. it's hard to remove I know, but the stress will go down when you realize they are going to do what they want when they want and they have no after thought about you or the GC that is with you.
I hope this helps!
First, I did see your post and omgosh I am so very sorry for what you are going through. I do hope things get better for you.
While I do agree with you on what you said, I just never want my kiddos to feel anything but loved. Does that make sense? I have enough going on in my life right now that the last thing I need is one of these kids asking why I didn't tell "mommy" I didn't invite her to any of the other things happening this year and my gd didn't ask. I do follow your recommendation about not inviting her on everything else, except this one. I feel and figure that if dear ole "mom" can't do anything for her kids nor see them only around the holidays, then dear ole "mom" doesn't deserve to be included in anything.
I think what I will do regarding inviting them, from here on out is just to ask who she would like to invite or is there anyone she wants to invite.
Thank you as well for the suggestion about FB. The only reason she is on my fb at all is because that's the only way I get to see pics of my 8 month old gd. I mean I see her in person a few times a year and that's it. I have gone as far as blocking her from seeing pics I post off my little ones on there and my account is set to private. Again, if she can't be "mom" to them all the time, then she doesn't get the privileged of seeing them in pics and copying them to her computer.
Thank you so much for your comment. It did help.