Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
As most of you already know I have custody of my 2 grandsons and am fighting to get my granddaughter,now my sister has been arrested for drugs and the DCS has contacted me about possibly taking her 2 daughters ages 7 & 8.The father is in the National Gaurd and is on active duty in Afganistan so it is impossible for him to take them at the moment{they are divorced and have been talking about reconciling ,he won't do it now when he finds out she is on drugs} He is a wonderfull father and would walk to hell and back for them,so I know that this would only be a temperary thing with them.The children have been living with my mother for about 2 years now but DCS won't approve her because there is 12 people[7 children,5 adults] living in a 3 bedroom house.The mother has had very little interaction with these girls in the last 2 years because of her drug addiction.I am very close to these children as I was their babysitter for most of their life before their parents split and the mother got on drugs.I normaly would not think twice about taking them but I am afraid that it could hamper me getting custody of my own grandchild as I only live in a 3 bedroom myself and with both of these girls ,my grandsons,my youngest daughter,my husband and myself the court might decide that I didn't have room for the baby.
I think that the DCS has decided that it is easier for them to just give me all the kids in my family that they take from their parents.I had custody of one of my brothers' 2 kids for over 2 years until he finally got his life together[no drug involved] and got them back,my other brother was about to loose his and they[DCS] called me to see if I would take them and I agreed but he ran with them and hasn't been caught yet,I was asked to keep another sister's baby for about a month untill she could get moved into a place of her own [ I didn't have custody of him] and now they want me to take these 2.What do I need to do just buy a 10 bedroom house and take them all in and take care of them.The worst part is in the state of Tennessee the DCS wants to give me everybody's kids but the state of ILL is giving me a fight about giving me 1, my granddaughter!!!!
Please forgive me I just needed to get this off my chest! I am just so frustrated about all of this.Everybody knows that I love all the kids in my family like they are my own and I will do anything for them that I can.I am alot older than my brothers and sisters and I helped my mom raise all of them,7 of them,and I have tried my best to help them all with their kids.Thye just keep screwing up and I keep ending up with their babies.I have never regreted anything I have ever done for any of them but when is my time gonna come?When will I ever get to sit back and relax?I know that I will be raising my 2 hopefully 3 grandchildren but sometimes I feel like an orphanage[sp?]!!!!
I think that the DCS has decided that it is easier for them to just give me all the kids in my family that they take from their parents.I had custody of one of my brothers' 2 kids for over 2 years until he finally got his life together[no drug involved] and got them back,my other brother was about to loose his and they[DCS] called me to see if I would take them and I agreed but he ran with them and hasn't been caught yet,I was asked to keep another sister's baby for about a month untill she could get moved into a place of her own [ I didn't have custody of him] and now they want me to take these 2.What do I need to do just buy a 10 bedroom house and take them all in and take care of them.The worst part is in the state of Tennessee the DCS wants to give me everybody's kids but the state of ILL is giving me a fight about giving me 1, my granddaughter!!!!
Please forgive me I just needed to get this off my chest! I am just so frustrated about all of this.Everybody knows that I love all the kids in my family like they are my own and I will do anything for them that I can.I am alot older than my brothers and sisters and I helped my mom raise all of them,7 of them,and I have tried my best to help them all with their kids.Thye just keep screwing up and I keep ending up with their babies.I have never regreted anything I have ever done for any of them but when is my time gonna come?When will I ever get to sit back and relax?I know that I will be raising my 2 hopefully 3 grandchildren but sometimes I feel like an orphanage[sp?]!!!!
Also, your family seems to know that you will always be there to pick up the pieces, so they're "free" to keep screwing up. What do you think would happen if you put your foot down?
Just curious...
The 2 girls get over $1000 monthly in childsupport from their father{which the mother never spends on them} so money would not be a problem with them.And my family knows how I feel about the children.If I refuse them it will be like punishing the children for the parents misteaks.It is just so hard for me to do that.The DCS says that it shouldn't have any baring on the situation with my grandduaghter but I'm still afraid it will and I have to make sure that my children and grandchildren come 1st.
Makes me sick, but what can you do?
I am still dealing with my moms death and it's hard at times. However, I wanted to see what was going on here and HAD to post to your post.
If you are going to consider taking your neices, my first suggestion would be to find out from the dad how long it's going to be before he comes home. Can they give him emergency leave in this situation? Will he be able to care for his children properly?
If I were in the same situation, I would find out for how long it would be that I have his children and then go into this knowing that he is a good dad and won't treat these children like their mom did. I would also go into this knowing that this isn't forever. I think if it isn't a forever thing, that it shouldn't have any bearing on your grand daughter. I could be wrong though.
God truly blessed you with a compassion and understanding for children and what they are going through.
God Bless.