Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Gs is 7, be 8 in August . He had asked about who his father is and why he doesn't see him.
The full truth is his father abused him at 5.5 weeks old for crying, head injury, leg fractures probably shaking him. He subsequently abutted he hit baby in the chest on previous occasion . He got 10 years but they released him last month...
I told gs his father was too young to be a daddy and has made some bad rescissions and isn't safe to be around kids and lives far away.
Yesterday his younger sister chirps up When is A going to see his daddy?
After a moment of stunned silence I said that's a conversation for me and A And left it there, we were almost to baseball game so didn't have a lot of time to devote to feeling him out .She is prob missing her daddy who she hasn't seen since Christmas .
If he asks me when be will see his father what do I say ?
I don't want him to ever see his father. He's a child abuser from a family of criminals , burglars, drugs ect . If his father shows up I will get restraining order and TPR. His father has sent the entire family Facebook friends requests and want to see him.
The full truth is his father abused him at 5.5 weeks old for crying, head injury, leg fractures probably shaking him. He subsequently abutted he hit baby in the chest on previous occasion . He got 10 years but they released him last month...
I told gs his father was too young to be a daddy and has made some bad rescissions and isn't safe to be around kids and lives far away.
Yesterday his younger sister chirps up When is A going to see his daddy?
After a moment of stunned silence I said that's a conversation for me and A And left it there, we were almost to baseball game so didn't have a lot of time to devote to feeling him out .She is prob missing her daddy who she hasn't seen since Christmas .
If he asks me when be will see his father what do I say ?
I don't want him to ever see his father. He's a child abuser from a family of criminals , burglars, drugs ect . If his father shows up I will get restraining order and TPR. His father has sent the entire family Facebook friends requests and want to see him.
If the abuse is why he was in jail, there shouldn't be too much difficulty with getting a restraining order.
As for telling your gs why, I think, reiterate what you have said so far, unless or until he asks more specific questions (like what bad decisions or why wasn't I safe). He will ask when he is ready to know.
Lives very far away and can't come for a very long time. He's probably seeing other kids dad's and is curious. My motto with grandson was always simple answers and change the subject. We never said bad things about his father. Is your husband or another male around? If not you might try to find someone. He just needs to be a kid now.
Questions really started last year when sister was on phone with her absentee daddy on Father's Day . Frustrating to me, as I feel like his pawpaw is his daddy anyway. I hope the day comes when the kids understand we are their parents, and have always been there for them.
Gd only sees her bio mom when it is "handy" for bio mom. Bio mom posted last night on her Facebook page that she was going to be in town and as excited to see her daughter. Guess what???? Bio mom has never called or texted asking to see her daughter!! I have not said a word to gd about her bio mom being here in town. Better to let that sleeping dog lay.
I just tell gd that her daddy made the choice not to be part of her life for whatever his reason. I remind her how much we love her and that her "papa" ( my husband) loves her lots! It was hard for her at first when "papa" started driving OTR but now she deals better with it for the most part. She shares my king size bed during the week with me. LOL
I would say do not lie to him and don't go into a lot of details. Give him just the basics...your dad lives a long ways away and can't be here right now. If he asks "why?" say because dad choose to live wherever he is. Kids only want to know so much at this age.
I would consider getting the restraining order, just in case. Better safe then sorry where a child is involved and for your peace of mind.
Our eldest's counselor is trying to get her to open up to me, but she keeps saying that I'm not a "real mom" and not her "real mom."
So who's been her "real mom" for the past 10 years? Certainly not Pinky!
Our GD calls us Grandma and Grandpa because her brother (who lives with his dad) calls us that and her cousins call us that. Her mom use to visit on the weekends but as time goes on, she sees her less and less. This year only once for a very short time.
We tell her it is up to her what she wants to call us. I say to her, "you know we are the ones parenting you," so we are okay with that.
One of the reasons we started the support group was so that she could be with other kids, who are living with their grandparents. That helps her to not feel so different from kids with "normal" families.