Hope, Let her know one of your jobs is to help her grow up and one of the ways your going to help her is by teaching her proper communication skills. Explan to her when she wants to speak with someone it is proper to address the person she is wanting to speak with. Give her a choice of your first name or Grandma. If she doesn't address you properly do not acknowledge until she does. I'm sure she will use your first name as a way of defiance. Don't let her see that it bugs or hurts you. Some children feed off the reactions due to how they lived when with their parents. Please only use your bedroom when your at your end. The more she can push you into the bedroom the more she becomes the women of the house sort to speak.

It will get better. Just stand your ground in a strong and tender way.

That is sad. I'm just guessing it may have something to do with her being taken away the last time. Can you have a conversation with her about it. You've probably have already done this but maybe you can go on a car ride with her to some place special and strike up a conversation. My kids always told me so much stuff on car trips.

In our case, our mentally ill, chemically dependent daughter takes her son aside to a corner and coaches him to call her mom. (He has started calling her by her first name, which makes her so mad)
I would imagine that is happening to your granddaughter too. We parents seem to be the bad guys in our adult children's eyes. Your granddaughter likely has been schooled my bio mom not to think of you as any sort of parent figure..or else.
With our grandson, he will just resume calling me grandma, or mom as soon as bio mom leaves.
Maybe using a sense of humor, to get the ball rolling, you could come up with some sort of nick name, that makes her smile, and relax, could ease her back in to feeling comfortable calling you "my grandma" I love that too!! I agree with nuts and bolts you she needs to address you but I just bet anything she has a lot of fear and confusion attached to this.

I agree. Give her space. It only shows her confusion. It could be pArt of her attachment issues. She'll come around wh she's ready. When our grandson was very little I had a Daisy Duck hat. He loved it and one day said: look it's Daisy Duck. I remained "his daisy" until we adopted him at age 7 and he started to call us mom and dad.

Maybe she wants to call you Mom? I love oils give her that option.

Thank you all for your input. I really appreciate it! I found out that her mother would not allow her to say my name after she went back there at 7 1/2. If she did she got punished! :( She said it was easier to not call anybody anything. Except my SICK daughter forced her to call her "Mommy." Ugh. I have so much anger for what's been done to her and how CPS refused to protect her! I need to try to let some of that go. I know it's not healthy.

My husband and I will continue addressing ourselves as Grandma and Grandpa and hopefully she will again.