Just remember, scgramma, it's ALL about our grandchildren. As long as you keep your focus on that, you will find the strength to do the hard things that need to be done.

Our lives are so much better since we told my husband's daughter she could no longer live with us. Now it's just the very rare visit, and I get crazed, but I know she'll be leaving in a few days.

If you can't do anything about your granddaughter now, just give it time...

WOW SC, I am so sorry to hear this.... The only loser in this this whole ordeal are the babies.... You are absolutely right when you say that dd has the right not to be physically attacked in your home.... However, the trauma that the babies are seeing and living is not good. I hope DSS will do SOMETHING to protect that precious gd because if the ddmom is that violent to dd then think what she is like or will be like with the gd...

I'm not sure what advice to offer in this situation other than to do what you have to do to keep your family safe....

Much love to you

I lived in that same limbo for 6 months, with the parents in the house, threats gradually escalating, etc., but afraid to do anything because of the children they'd take with them. Finally, though, we went to court and got the eviction and also called CPS. CPS came one night, told the parents they would have to leave, and that they would have to pick someone to take the kids (my husband and I, foster care, or his mother/grandmother). Since they just happened to be madder at the mother/grandmother at the time (and those grandparents did not want the childre full time), the parents picked us. You have to be willing to let your daughter pick other people to care for the children. I was willing for the children to temporarily be placed in foster care if that is what it took. YOU KNOW they are in danger with your daughter, and they have a better chance of being okay, temporarily at least, in foster care. I'm shocked CPS won't do something with weapons being involved though.

I agree with what has already been said. I know that it is hard to develop thick skin about what happens to our own children, but making the right choice for the grandchildren is always the thing to do.

I would only suggest that you continue to call cps and if you don't get an adequate response from the initial investigator, try to get in touch with their supervisor. And of course, document, document, document. If you can go back and give them precise dates and details of the abuse, you have a better chance of getting cps to act.

Husband got the eviction notice. Hasn't been served yet, she has 5 days from serve. Her caseworker returned my call, I told her what happened. She said try to find out where she's going. She says nothing she can do about it unless her drug test comes back positive, which it won't. You can't test for crazy.
She asked me if "this could be just a dynamic between me and daughter.." I wasnt even there when this happened.She didn't want me to kick her out, even when I told her my gs witnessed this whole thing...

Ddmom told me to take the gd with me Saturday, and Sunday, and didn't come home last night. Maybe I will get lucky and she will leave her with me...Other than sleep deprivation I am strangely fine. It helps that my decisions have been made.
Maybe it's not me at all. I heard sometimes God calms the storm, sometimes he calms His child. I have gotten away from church, I know I need to get back in there. Yesterday I spent some time talking to God, and trying to listen.

The caseworker doesn't want you to kick her out?

Sheeesh, that's a new one. I would just tell you to do whatever you think is best for the children. After all, the caseworker doesn't live with you :-)

WOW! What a mess the poor babies in the middle of all that... I think I would put the daughter up in a hotel room for a week providing she leave the baby with me after that she would be on her own and she would play heck getting the baby back...one quick way to get her out of the houseGood Luck

As the one song says, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of Earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His Glory and Grace." I think you will find a sense of peace as you follow your heart and seek God's direction. I know it has helped me through everything I'm going through.

I think you are perfectly correct in getting her out of the house, especially if she has done things like threaten people with knives! There is absolutely no excuse for threats and they are absolutely not allowable.

However, I would also have a very serious discussion with the other daughter about allowing things to escalate into a brawl and how to control her own feelings. This should never have happened from either of them!

I was thinking something very similar to what granna suggested with the motel thing - or a deposit and first month rent on an apartment. This would accomplish two things. ONE MAJOR one - you will know where she is and will remain in contact with her for the gc sake.

Also, it will give her a slight breathing time and time for CPS to see if she can provide for gc. They can observe her for that month as well.

Find some low income housing that isn't too horrible and set her up in it - provide the first month's rent and down payment. DO NOT cosign for her. My daughter got stuck in that issue. They ended up paying thousands that my ds owed in back rent, etc. from cosigning just for one year (ds lived there three). It was a nightmare.

Wishing you all the best! Hope it all works out for you.

Grannyskeeter, she has been on a waiting list for low income housing. her moving in with me was supposed to be just a month or 2 until her appt comes through. however, she has been back 3 months, has not gotten a job, spends welfare as quick as she gets it, leaving me to pick up the remainder of the month, ...ect ect ect

She is still number 4 on waiting list., same place she was 3 months ago. I don't think she gets the fact utilities will cost money, and you have to work. I've been paying child care because "she can't handle it when baby cries"

I had really hoped she would get a job, see a therapist, and I could help her learn to budget. None of that has worked out. no doubt she will get housing eventually, but I dont think she will pay the utilities. welfare is only 235 a month. 160 child support.That will have to pay her "sliding scale " housing plus utilities, which by thee way, they only give you a short time to get a job or get out. food stamps will help, but If she doesn't get a job the housing thing won't really work. She hasn't had a job in 2 years....Then she's eligible for help with daycare, but she'd have to pay some of it.
25 housing
120 daycare if she only suplements and they pay 95 a week
200 elec
55 water
=400

If she would get a job and start acting right, I would be glad to help her make ends meet. I won't supplement boyfriends, partying with pot heads, spending child support on gas to go party with her friends( they expect her to pay gas, their car)
Welfare is limited to 2 years, then it gets reduced to TANF. 7 months gone already. How does she think she'll live with 160 cs and160 TANF? SC doesnt pay much.

Certainly not help her with cash. I never give my ds cash. That's why I suggested only one month rent. But I guess I don't understand how having her live with you is any better????

I think you need to do whatever is best for you and your gc, so you can get on with your lives.